


Truly, Madly, Deeply

by musicalmissme



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Best Friends, Canon, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Eventual Smut maybe, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family, February/March 2016, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, OT4, Protective Siblings, Siblings, best mates, friends - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-05-23 14:50:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6119863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicalmissme/pseuds/musicalmissme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What's better than coming out of the closet after 5 years of hoping and waiting? Coming out with your best friend. And what's better then all the rumors that are sure to arise after your announcement? Giving the fans what they've always wanted. At least, that's what Irving Azoff seems to think. And we trust him. Don't we?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Meeting That Changed It All

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys. This is my first try at a chapter fic. I have no idea how this is going to turn out. Basically the idea came into my head and wouldn't go away, so I finally gave in.
> 
> Please let me know what you think, constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated!
> 
> Hope you enjoy. :)
> 
> (Also would like to add that I was lazy and didn't edit this at all, I promise the next update will be better.)
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I also would like to point out that this is a work of fiction, meaning that it came out of my imagination. The characters are based upon real life people, but no offense is intended as I do not personally know these people. This story was created by myself, so please don't repost, or translate unless you get permission from me first. This is just for fun, I mean no offense at all.

“Look guys. It’s not that simple. You both want to come out. And you want to come out now. It’s really quite complicated like this. We can’t have you come out at the same time without people assuming you are together.”

“If one of you comes out, the other one is going to have to wait, probably at least a year, to make sure the rumors won’t start up again when he does.”

“And neither of you want to do that. Am I correct?”

The three gentleman at the head of the room stare down at them, looking genuinely curious. Louis and Harry shake their heads.

“You would have to wait a year plus the timeline we set up for the first person’s story. I honestly don’t even want to get into that. It sounds extremely messy.”

Louis sighs. He hates that he agrees. But what else are they supposed to do?

“What else are we supposed to do?” Harry asks, reading his mind like always.

“Well, we have a plan. You are probably not going to like it.”

Louis looks over to see Harry staring dejectedly at his lap. And no, he can’t have that. He reaches his hand out and rest it on the younger boy’s thigh, stroking the fabric with his thumb. Harry doesn’t look up, but brings a hand to rest on top of Louis’ own, squeezing lightly.

“Well, so what if they think we’re together right? Those rumors are going to start again no matter what.” Louis says determinedly.

“They never stopped.”

“That’s fine. But as soon as either of us comes out, that’s going to be the story everybody fishes for.” Louis continues.

“Which is basically our point exactly.”

“Yeah I’m not getting the point then I don’t think.” Louis’ heart lurches as Harry squeezes his hand harder.

“You said we could come out.” Harry speaks up suddenly, turning to the Irving. 

“And nothing has changed.”

“So we come out then. And maybe people think we’re together, but we don’t have to listen to them. Just like we haven’t listened to them for 5 years.” Louis says matter of factly.

“And you will most likely have to deal with these rumors for as long as the band is together, maybe for the rest of your careers.”

Louis looks over at Harry’s face again. His eyes are closed, hand gently smoothing out the wrinkles on his forehead.

“We realize how unusual this might seem.”

“Please just get on with it mate.” Louis says sharply. Maybe a little too sharply.

“We think you should come out together. Together, together.”

“But that’s…”

“We aren’t…”

The boys stutter out a couple more incomplete sentences, hands gripping each other even tighter as realization sets in.

“You want us… to lie.” Louis says, his voice laced with disgust. He shoots a look at Harry. Harry who had been so convinced that switching to Azoff would be the best thing for them. No more PR stunts, no more LIES. Just the truth. Just the coming out stories.

“You can look at it that way—“

“What other way is there to look at it?” Louis knows his voice is growing shrill. “You want us to jump right back into what we’ve been trying to get out of for 5 years. This fucking baby story has been the worse thing in hell. I am never doing anything like this ever again and I refuse to let Harry do anything like it either. We came here because he trusts you and you are not about to abuse that trust.” His voice has become eerily calm, chin jutting out in defiance.

“It is of course, completely up to your jurisdiction. No we can not make you do anything, we are merely suggesting that—“

“Well we are not doing it. We’re done.” Louis stands up from the table, being pulled back down almost immediately, having forgotten his hand held under Harry’s. “Haz?”

“Just let them finished Lou. Please.” Louis wants to say no, he is going to say no. And then Harry raises his head and stares him in the eyes. And Louis curses the fact that he loves these boys so much. He would do literally anything for them, that’s how he wound up in this freakish hell of a stunt to begin with.

“We aren’t agreeing to anything.” He says, mustering up the most effective glare that he can. It must be quite effective, as Harry winces and turns to stare at the front of the conference room.

“Just listen. Please, Lou.”

“We aren’t—“

“LOU.” Harry shouts, regaining his composure before speaking again. “Please.” He’s practically begging.

“Fine.” Louis says, voice as curt and rude as possible. The things he does for this boy. Seriously he needs to take better care of himself. This hasn’t been healthy, far from it. Still, he has a small inkling of hope that Azoff will be better equipped to handle whatever this might turn into. Better than the old team. He shudders just thinking about them.

“Please continue.” Harry says sweetly and Louis wants to murder him. He is going to fucking murder him. Is he listening to what is going on right now?? He shoots daggers through his eyes at the side of the younger boy’s face but his friend doesn’t even acknowledge his presence, other than the firm grasp he still has on his hand.

“If we deny the Larry Stylinson rumors, people aren’t going to believe us. They’ll say that you want the public to become accustomed to just the two of you being openly gay before you clue people into your relationship. Or some other fabricated story like that. These rumors are never going to go away. Not until the fans get what they want.”

Well obviously, Louis wants to say. He wants to say a lot of things actually. But he doesn’t. He bites his cheek to keep from screaming.

“If we give them Larry Stylinson, then all the drama surrounding it will have to wrap up eventually. They will be enthralled with the amount of secrecy you have managed to keep all these years, everyone will ooh and aww. But at the end of the day, we have you two break things off nicely. People got what they wanted, it just wasn’t meant to last. And the two of you continue on with your lives.”

It makes too much sense is the thing, Louis thinks. He never trusts things that make too much sense.

“But then everyone will always believe that we were together for 5 years.” Louis points out.

“Not necessarily. At some point we could make a list of all the stunts we had to pull and just list this as one of them.” Harry says quietly. 

Louis turns to look at him in shock.

“Please tell me you aren’t actually considering this Harry.”

Harry bites his lip and looks away.

“Harry, I—“

“Lou, I want to come out. You want to come out. This will just be for a little while and we probably won’t even have to do much to convince everybody. People already believe it so strongly that we would barely have to act amiable towards each other, to keep up the curtain.” He pauses, then turns to look Louis directly in the eyes, gaze unwavering and pleading. “And that wouldn’t be hard, would it?”

“Of course not Hazza. Of course it wouldn’t.”

“We could actually interact in public again.”

“Harry we will get to do that anyways, the contract is almost up remember?”

“Yeah… but the rumors would still be there.”

“But this way we are encouraging them Harry. We are actually going to lie straight to their faces. Do you really want to do that? Say, hey guys we’ve been lying to you for 5 years and now we are going to be completely honest and open. And then be lying to them in the process. Again. I thought this was what we wanted to avoid.”

Harry looks to the old Azoff, expression something Louis cannot recognize in his current state.

“You have plenty of time to think about it. All the time in the world actually, since this is going at your own pace anyways.” Irving puts in, rather unhelpfully, Louis thinks.

Louis frees his hand from Harry’s hold and stands up, brushing down the front of his joggers. He walks to the door and starts to open it before turning back around. Everyone in the room is staring at him.

“Umm. Thanks then… I think.” He mutters quickly, running from the room.

He pulls out his phone right away, skimming through his favorites and pressing the call button. He holds the phone up to his ear and waits impatiently, foot tapping against the floor as he waits at the end of the hall. The elevator doors ding open and he walks in, pressing the button for the lobby enough times to probably break the old thing.

“Hello?” His phone finally speaks to him. He breaks down almost immediately. Short, pained breaths as he tries to find the words to explain.

“Lot—” he tries to say.

“Shit Louis. What’s wrong?” Her voice sounds extra concerned, he knows all his family is on edge these days, worrying to bits about him.

“Lottie. They want us to lie—”

“No. You aren’t doing that.” She says right away. “And neither is Harry. Does he think he is going to? Because he’s not, do I need to talk to him?”

“I think he wants to.”

“He can’t.” She says forcefully. And then, “Well he can. But no matter what you don’t have to Louis.”

“See yeah the thing is I actually do in this case. They need both of us for it to work.” 

“What’dy’re trying to get at there big brother?”

“They want to give the fans… Larry. Larry Stylinson.”

There is silence on the other end of the phone.

“You aren’t…?”

“No. That’s why I said lying. It’s another fucking stunt.”

He’s walking along the path outside the building now, heading towards his car parked in the back of the lot. Why did he think it was a good idea to park so far away? God knows. Probably.

She’s quiet, he imagines her being all thoughtful and no, no, no that’s not what this is supposed to be about. 

“Lottie.”

“I need more details for me to like, say anything.”

“No you are just supposed to agree that stunting is stupid.”

“I resent that big brother.” 

He sighs, long and suffering. He reaches his car and realizes he wants to wait for Harry. Who knows how long he’ll stay and talk with the dark lord, who was supposed to be a good lord, and now… Well, at least he has time to explain the situation to Lottie. He sits down on the curb, pulling a packet of cigarettes from the pocket of his joggers and grabs his lighter. He sticks the cigarette in his mouth and once it’s properly lit up, takes a huge drag, settling down onto the pavement.

“Okay. They said that people would chalk up our not saying we are together, even after we’ve come out, as us trying to get the public used to the idea first or summat. Like no matter what we say basically, these rumors aren’t going to die.”

“Well, duh.” Lottie mutters.

And Louis thinks that is hardly fair. He decides to let it slide and explains the rest.

“Hmm.” She hums as she thinks things over. “I see where they are coming from, really I do.”

“Lottie!”

“It’ll be easy enough to deny later on, saying you felt more comfortable coming out together and since everyone would assume that anyways, it felt like the last needed thing to make your coming out official. Some people will probably be pissed, I mean, that’s inevitable. I think you should just think it over, yeah?”

“…” Louis sighs again, running his hand through his messed up fringe. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Lou. Even though you were like, just here.”

“It was stupid and I wasn’t able to enjoy being home.”

“You looked proper happy on the TV.”

“I’m a good actor.”

“I know.”

…

Harry strolls out of the building two cigarettes and a phone call to his mum later. Harry is looking down at his phone, running a hand through his messy curls. They bounce back around his face and Louis can’t not smile. Harry looks up and his eyes scan the courtyard, lighting up when they come to rest on Louis’ hunched figure. He walks over and stands hesitantly next to him, feet shuffling back and forth.

Finally, he sits down and spread his legs out off the curb in front of him. Without turning towards Louis, he plucks the cigarette from his lips and takes a slow drag.

“I was worried you left.” Harry says quietly, smoke rushing from between his lips.

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“I’m glad.”

They sit in silence for several minutes, handing the cigarette back and forth.

“Lou, I don’t want to have to… wait, any longer. I just want to stop lying about who I am. I want to stop that now. I don’t want to have to deal with the womanizer image any longer. Call me selfish, but—”

“It’s not selfish.”

“I don’t want to spend anther year, plus, being linked to all of my girl friends.”

“Then you come out first.”

“Then you’ll have to get another beard or summat! You know the rumors are going to come anyways. And I am sick of having to deny things. I don’t want to spend the rest of our careers saying we aren’t together.”

“Why were so we so damn close back then? This would never have been an issue…”

“We were confused and infatuated with each other. Things were easier with you by my side Louis. I think this will be easier with you by my side as well.”

Louis stares at him in confusion, Harry refusing to meet his gaze.

“I’m going to be by your side no matter what Haz. We all will be.”

“That’s not what I… Lou… I just… it is selfish, I want us to do this together… I feel like whichever of us ends up having to wait will end up resenting the other and whoever comes out first won’t be able to enjoy it because we will just be feeling guilty. I don’t want this to come between us. It’s been us against the world for so long now, why can’t this be the same?”

“I hate that you sound logical right now Harry. I just don’t want to lie.”

“Well then don’t. I’ll do it. Like, we’ll have a press statement released probably and then in any interviews, I can answer the questions. All you have to do is not look like you want to die. And we don’t have to lie to any friends or family. Everyone who knows about our sexuality now can know the truth.” His slow drawl makes him take almost a minute to express what he is trying to say, though he is quick to add, “And I am sure it won’t be for too long. Eventually we can just say we couldn’t handle the relationship being so publicized. And that won’t even be a lie, I mean not really.”

“Not sure I am following you there. Sounds like a lie to me.”

“We’ll say we are no longer together, because once everyone knew about our relationship, it changed our dynamic.” Harry looks down at the floor, not meeting Louis’ eye.

“I thought we ended whatever it was because we were just too confused.”

“Well yeah we were. But only because people started questioning it. Before, it hadn’t mattered what is was. We were happy. Well, I was.”

“I was too Haz. There’s no one else I would rather have figured things out with. And I am glad it didn’t affect our friendship.” 

Harry looks away sharply. Louis doesn’t notice, focusing on lighting up another cigarette.

“Right.”

“Haz?”

“Yeah.”

“We could make it not that publicized right? Like, make it seem more candid. Then we wouldn’t have to lie as much. Just go back to being affectionate in public. Let people assume what they will. Release the statement. Go about our lives.”

“Yeah… of course. Are you…?”

“Considering it, unfortunately yes. My brain must be really screwed up.” Louis looks down at his phone in disgust.

His phone buzzes and his face turns into an absolute grimace.

“What’s it?”

“I have a pap walk today.”

“Lou…”

“It’s fine.”

“No you know what, you’re right. You shouldn't have to lie ever again. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I… I… I…”

“Haz.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’ll do it.”

“What? No… I mean… I just said…”

“I will do it.”

Harry turns to look at him, eyes wary.

“Lou…”

“It’s not going to be the same. It’s with Azoff, you trust him. And it’s with you. Nothing could really be bad with you.”

“Just… think it over more. I don’t want you to end up regretting it.”

“Haz as long as we don’t sign any contracts, we could end it any time. Any time we don’t want to do it anymore. And it will be the same as if we never did anything. Just break it off and that’s that.”

“Lou, I just… I want you to be sure. Don’t do this for me. Or for anybody but yourself. I know it’s so selfish of me to ask you this, especially with everything you did this year so that I didn’t have to. Louis, I love you so much, you are the best friend anyone could ever ask for. But you—”

“Thank you Harry. But, I don’t think it’s selfish okay? You’re right, we should do this together. That’s what we wanted, before we heard about the rumors and shit and let’s just do it. I don’t want to think about it anymore. I have to go take pictures with the doll.”

Harry bursts out laughing.

“Haz…”

“I just can’t believe they are using a doll. I still can’t… I just… how does anyone even believe it?”

“I honestly have no clue. I hate that this makes so many people doubt themselves though. Like they are really smart and able to tell this is all so fake, and then we bombard them with pictures and they start to doubt everything they know.”

Harry has the decency to somber up.

“I know. It sucks.” He looks thoughtful for a moment. “Do you want me to come?”

Louis looks at him in surprise.

“I mean… I’d love it, but…”

“I have nothing to do today, so…”

“Alright.”

“Carpool? You could drop me back here later.”

“Sure.”

They climb into the car, Louis stubbing out the cigarette on the ground with the heel of his shoe.

“I’m sick of wearing Adidas.” Louis says quietly. 

Harry reaches over and rubs his arms softly. He hums in sympathy, thoughtfully stroking his chin.

“I know I can’t wait for Suspenders! Louis to return.” He smirks, “that always did it for me.”

Louis blushes and looks at the ground.

“Shut up.”

…

They spend the rest of the day taking funny pictures of Louis holding the doll dressed in the rainbow bear’s clothes. (‘I wish we could actually post these’ Harry says, laughing.) 

Harry waits in the car while Louis walks through the grocery store with Danielle, flipping through the pictures on his phone. He smiles at the candid of the two of them that he must’ve accidentally taken. The angle is all screwed and they are staring at each other, eyes full of mirth. Harry’s nose is scrunched up like he’s about to sneeze and Louis is winking at him, the doll in the air above his head.

He looks up when he hears the knock on the car window, Louis standing outside, tapping his foot impatiently. Harry rolls his eyes, reaching over to unlock the door. Louis slides into the seat, reaching for his seatbelt right away and shoving a plastic box into Harry’s lap.

“Aw did Louis get Harry a prezzy?” Harry teases, opening the box.

“It’s food, you arse.”

“What’s happened to you, mate?”

“We had to walk around a bunch of oranges and didn’t even get to buy any. And then eat lunch at a freaking salad bar.”

“I’ve got oranges at mine.” Harry says distractedly, picking up the fork from inside the plastic casing.

“We are going to yours then. Now.”

“Umm. Alright then.” He shoves a forkful of the salad into his mouth, munching appreciatively.

Louis pulls out of the parking space, swerving into traffic. Harry grabs the handle above the door, yelling at him.

“WHAT THE FUCK MATE?” He tries to calm his breathing as Louis slows down with the flow of traffic. “You are going to get us killed!”

“Sorry.” He doesn’t sound very sorry.

“Yeah… right.”

They pull up to the gates of Harry’s place in one piece, much to Harry’s disbelief. He’s still grasping the handle, knuckles turning white and scrambling out of the car and over to the side of the road where he proceeds to expel the entire contents of his stomach onto the ground. He staggers back into the car to find Louis laughing at him.

“What now?”

“You look drunk mate.” Louis chuckles.

“I wonder why.” Harry says darkly. “You know what I change my mind.”

“About what? The oranges? I need my oranges!”

“About fake dating you. No one would believe I would date someone like you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You almost KILLED ME!”

“I did not.”

“Lou.”

“I wouldn’t have let you die.”

“Well that’s sweet.”

“I know.”

Harry scoffs as they stop at the end of the drive by Harry’s front door.

“I’m honestly rethinking this.” He says, pulling himself from the car and stumbling along to the door.

“No you’re not.”

“I should be.” He jimmies his key in the lock, forcing the door open.

Louis pushes past him, basically sprinting to his kitchen. He sighs and walks slowly to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He hates that he gets car sick. And that Louis drives like maniac, that too.

They end up sprawled across the love seat in his living room, snacking on oranges and staring at the TV.

“What are we even watching…?” Harry asks after a while, his orange lies forgotten on his lap as he stares at the TV, brow furrowed in bewilderment.

“I have no idea.” Louis replies cheerfully, sucking on an orange slice. “God, I love oranges.”

They decide to go back for Harry’s car the next day and shuffle down to lie side by side on the couch. Louis’ back is pressed to Harry’s front and Harry slides an arm around the older boy’s middle.

“Lou..?”

It soon becomes apparent that Louis is already asleep, and Harry sighs contentedly. He smiles and burrows his face down in the back of Louis’ neck, sniffing his shampoo.

Maybe this could be okay. Maybe Louis could actually agree. Harry knows he’ll do it alone if he has to, he’s waited too long not to, but coming out with his best friend right by his side? He doesn’t know if anything could ever get any better than that.


	2. We're Gonna Be Fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I don't know why Louis is obsessed with oranges, it just kinda happened, so...
> 
> I hope you enjoy, I've been impatiently waiting for Saturday all week so I could upload this chapter.
> 
> All the love. xx

Harry wakes up some time later with a mouthful of brown, feathery hair. He coughs and pulls the hair out of his mouth, pushing himself halfway into a sitting position, to try and breathe. His back is pressed up against the back of the plush sofa, knees curled up around Louis’ bum and bent legs. The older man’s arms hang off the edge of the sofa, his head tucked back into Harry’s neck, mouth wide open.

Harry could probably sit here and admire this sleeping beauty all day long. But he won’t. Well, maybe he will. At least until Louis wakes up. Then again, he’s been caught staring before and as much as Louis doesn’t mind, it just boosts his ego, Harry still finds himself creepy for doing it. He can’t help but admire Louis at all times though, he’s just the kind of person who has that glow around them. Glowy Louis.

With a sigh, Harry carefully peels himself off the couch, tucking Louis more securely into the cushions, lying a blanket down around his shoulders. He gazes at his peaceful face a moment longer, watching Louis stir slightly in his sleep. Harry then proceeds out of the room, toes dragging on the fluffy, dark, brown carpet, while scratching his belly and yawning. 

He walks through the hall and into the kitchen and looks around. He grabs the almost empty bowl of oranges off the table and frowns. He looks around his kitchen and wonders what happened to it, before remembering that Louis is visiting. Everything is out of order, kitchen utensils lying on the counters, refrigerated items, not in the refrigerator. Normally he’d have gotten a hold of it before it got to this state though. 

Maybe he’s been too distracted, you know, trying to keep Louis distracted.

“Oranges…?” A voice mumbles from the other room.

Harry rolls his eyes, slamming down the bowl.

“In ‘ere.” He shakes his head, walking to the refrigerator and pulling out a carton of eggs. He sets them down on the counter, scratching at his hair with the other hand. He pulls some pancake mix out of the cupboard and rummages around his drawers for some measuring cups.

As he begins mixing ingredients, he feels arms wrap around him from behind, squeezing his waist. Thin hands clasp over his belly, a nose presses into his back. He feels the hot air huffed onto his shirt, the heat seeping through to warm his skin.

“Yes Lou?” he asks with a chuckle.

“I’m tired. Why’d you have to get up? You woke me up. You owe me oranges.”

“You are going to be sick if you eat anymore of those things.”

“Fine.” The arms tighten around his waist as Harry reaches for the olive oil. “I want breakfast.”

Harry grunts in reply.

“Have I ever told you how much I love you ‘arry?”

Harry chuckles and bats Louis’ hands away.

“You know I’m making them for you, silly.”

“Oh.” Louis says, yawning big and reaching his arms to the sky. He stumbles over to the bowl of oranges, contemplating, before grabbing one and settling down at the table.

“Thank you ‘arry, you are the best friend anyone could ever ask for… feel free to ad-lib here…” Harry says with a smirk.

“Yeah, yeah all that.” Louis waves his hand in the air, munching on a orange slice with a cocky little smirk on his face.

“And?”

“And…”

“Lou.”

“And… I love you?” Louis turns to look at Harry with a genuinely curious expression on his face. Harry throws his head back laughing.

“Well do you or don’t you?”

“Of course I do Hazza, you know that.”

“It’s nice to hear it once in a while is all.” Harry says softly, grinning to himself. He turns back to the stove and pours out the first couple pancakes.

“I love you Haz.”

Harry smiles, ducking his chin into his shoulder. The fabric of his jumper rubs across his skin and he involuntarily shivers.

“I love you too Lou.”

“I will do it.”

“Hmm?”

“The stunt, I mean it isn’t even a stunt really. I’ll come out with you Harry. And I mean it, you didn’t believe me yesterday, well now I’ve slept on it and I mean it. I really, truly mean it. And it’s because I love you so much and I want this to just be over for us both. This really does seem like the quickest way to get through the lying. It’ll be over soon enough.” Louis nods his head and looks down at his nails, picking at them. 

The next moment Harry is over there holding his hands steady, preventing him from mutilating his skin.

“You’re 100% sure.” He says, just to be sure, long fingers stroking Louis’ palms and forest green eyes staring into Louis’.

“Yeah…” Louis whispers.

“Oh fuck. Thank you so much. I want to say you won’t regret it, but I mean I don’t really know because it hasn’t happened yet but it will and I am so glad and this will be fun, you’ll see! And I hope your family won’t hate me because I know I am supposed to be here making it easier on you and not harder which is kind of what I am doing and—”

“Haz.” Louis cuts him off with a finger to his lips, as he rambles over the edge.

“Oh.” He takes in a deep breath, a huge grin spread across his beautiful face. “Yeah?”

“You’re welcome.” Louis says with a smile, standing up and pulling the younger man into a hug. Harry slumps over, hands reaching behind Louis’ back. One hand cups the back of his neck, the other resting on his lower back. Louis’ arms wind tightly around his middle, playing with the fabric of his jumper. Harry rubs his nose into the side of Louis neck, breathing softly.

“Thank you Lou. Thank you.” he whispers, pressing a kiss beneath Louis’ ear.

Louis chuckles and pretends to shake Harry off of him, yet his tight hold of the younger man’s waist kind of defies his other actions.

“I…” Louis starts, squeezing tighter and burying his face into Harry’s neck.

“What baby?” Harry asks softly, stroking Louis’ back comfortingly.

“I really am… glad that you are here with me. I know you like L.A., but still, you could be home with your family, but you are here with me and I just… don’t know if I could do all this without you.”

“I’m sure you could Lou, but you don’t have to, and I’m… glad of that too. I’m glad I won’t have to do it alone either. Always here for each other, yeah?”

“Yeah. Of course love.”

They smile, holding each other tightly and completely forgetting about breakfast, burning some of the pancakes.

…

“Louis needs better people around him.” The woman on the TV says determinedly.

Louis chuckles to himself and burrows back further into the couch. 

“Tell me about it.” He says, switching off the TV.

“They just don’t know, that you have those people. They just can’t publicly announce that they are helping you yet.” Harry says from the chair by the window. 

The curly haired lad is laying down backwards on the chair, legs curled over the back of it, head hanging off the edge, curls brushing the floor. His hands are folded on top of his stomach and he swings his feet side to side to the beat of the music playing through the speakers.

Louis hums appreciatively.

“True, true.”

“And you have me.” Harry adds.

“And they can’t know that either.” Louis says with a frown.

“Someday.”

“I wonder if they know I have all you lads. I mean I hate that they are going the route of the break up rumors.” Louis puts a hand to his chest and says in a mock hurt tone, “I can’t believe you are ditching us for a solo career Harry.”

Harry laughs, his curls dancing back and forth and Louis smiles proudly to himself. He loves to make the younger boy laugh, it’s a favorite past time of his. One that never fails to cheer himself up. Seeing Harry happy, makes Louis happy. It’s as simple as that.

“You’ve been spending too much time following the news, Lou.” Harry tries to say it in a joking matter, but the edge of seriousness in his tone gives away his concern.

“I know. Normally I’d just ignore it! But I can’t bear all the fans freaking out over these nonsense rumors. I honestly couldn’t care less what the public thinks of me, but these kids…”

“I know Lou, I know. I wish they knew that I’d never leave you guys. I don’t even want a solo career. I’ve said it before, I don’t think I could have done all this alone.” Harry shudders at the thought.

“I reckon some of them can see through the bull, see the truth.”

“Somebody’s got to right? They can’t turn away them all.”

“It’s the ones who believe the truth and continue to support us, those are the ones that we have to think about. We’ve got to believe that they are out there.”

Harry’s phone buzzes and he looks down to see a text from Jeff.

Meeting at the main offices. Be there in an hour. Jeff x

On our way. Harry replies.

“Lou?”

“Yeah. Just saw it. Let’s go.”

Louis is quiet for the first part of the drive and Harry shoots him worried glances, which he plaintively ignores. Finally when they are almost to the office, Harry can’t take it anymore.

“Louis…”

“You’d think they’d have given us more time. Considering we had ‘all the time in the world’ or whatever crap he fed us last time.” Louis bursts out immediately, like he was some coiled spring just waiting to be released. Waiting for Harry to mention it. Mention anything at all.

“If that’s why you’re upset, stop it. Irving called me and asked how things were going.”

Louis turns to look him head on.

“And you said…?”

“I said I figured we had made up our minds.”

“And?”

“And he said he’d set up a meeting with Jeff.”

“Oh.”

“I didn’t say anything for you, maybe I should’ve asked you before but I mean I was already on the phone with him and… well, you can still say no.”

“I’m not going to.”

“I’m just saying that you could.”

“But I won’t.”

Harry is silent for a moment, eyes on the road as he nears the offices.

“Why’re you doing it Lou?”

“Look, maybe I don’t want to do this alone either. Okay? Ever thought of that?”

Harry’s stays quiet, eyeing his best friend out of the corner of his eye.

“I’m scared okay?” Louis bursts out, brow furrowed and hands clenched where they rest in his lap.

They pull into a parking space and Harry puts the car in park, adjusting the sun visors and pulling the keys out of the car. He turns to face Louis and lies back in his seat, head tilted and stretching out his neck.

“I’m scared too.” Harry says quietly. “What if we really do ruin the boys careers?”

“I don’t care how many times they say they just want what’ll make us happy and that this is what they want and la dee la, blah dee blah.”

“You know… I’ve been thinking. I mean… I feel awful for thinking this.”

Louis turns to face the younger boy, sighing in sympathy, and reaching out a hand to brush through his brunette curls. Normally Harry would smile. Louis, seeing how Harry’s mouth barely even quirks, can tell how hard Harry has thought about this.

“What’ve you been thinking love?”

“Well, we might be helping their careers if we come out together. Like not only is it two guys in the most popular band on the planet coming out of the closet, they also happen to be in a relationship. It’ll be a bigger news story at least, if it’s this way, us coming out at the same time. A relationship that’s been hidden for 5 years, that’s a big deal. It might up sales or something. I hate to think we are playing people this way. But, it feels safer. In it together, yeah?”

“Harry don’t feel badly. I think you’re…” Louis sighs thoughtfully, swooping his fringe out of his eyes. “I think you're probably right. It’s just better in a lot of ways, if we do this together. The only downside is the lying I think. But it’ll be over soon enough.”

Harry smirks and Louis glances over at him.

“What Haz?”

“Maybe it’ll be over soon because it’ll stop being a lie.”

Louis blushes and looks away, fiddling with the hem of his jumper.

“Shut up.”

“I’m just saying.” He laughs to himself. “Have you read any of the fan fictions where we fake date? It always turns true. Always.” He smiles coyly.

“If you want to ask me out, just do it.” Louis laughs.

“Okay. Lou… will you?”

Louis’ face is the picture of disbelief.

“Will I what?”

“Will you go out with me?”

“If you’re asking for the stunt, they yeah duh I already agreed.”

“I’m not asking for the stunt, boo.”

“Harry…”

Harry laughs and opens the door of the car, “Let’s go in.”

“Alright.”

 

In the conference room, they are met with the Azoff’s; both senior and junior, as well as several other people who are a part of their new team. It would feel quiet intimidating, if they hadn’t lived through 5 years of these meetings, which much less nice people.

“Harry, Louis.”

“Hey.” Harry replies. 

Louis just nods as he and Harry sit down in the black office chairs set out for them, across the long, grey conference table from their new team. Harry bumps Louis leg with his own and smiles a private smile just for him.

“Oops.” He whispers with a wink.

Louis smacks him on the leg. Harry grabs his hand and holds it there, lacing their fingers together.

“So I hear you’ve made up your minds. Harry wouldn’t say what exactly, but I shall hear soon I hope?”

“Yeah of course. Lou?” Harry turns to him with an expectant look.

“You’re making me say it…?”

“I want you to, to make sure that’s what you want.” He turns to the other gentleman, “I’m doing whatever Louis is doing… obviously.” He adds quietly, earning a knowing smirk from Jeff.

“We’re in.” Louis says unceremoniously.

“Yeah?” Irving says, sounding surprised. “Are you sure you don’t need more time…”

“On one condition.” Louis says. Everyone’s eyes are on him now. He looks at Harry who just smiles encouragingly, although his eyes look a little confused. “We aren’t signing any contracts.”

“Um.”

Harry smiles at him warmly.

“Yeah we decided that this way if it isn’t working, we can just end it any time. We really don’t need to stick it out because it’ll be easy enough to just pull a break up at any time. Maybe we’ll end it before a news story is even necessary, who knows.” Harry says decidedly.

“We always have people sign contracts.” Jeff says uncertainly, looking to his father.

Irving recovers fairly quickly from his shock. He opens his mouth and closes it a few more times before speaking.

“Right. I suppose that’s fair. So this isn’t too much on us, just the two of you working this out on your own? Is that what you’re getting at?”

“I suppose so.” Louis says with a shrug.

“We’d still like your guidance of course, we just don’t want anything to be legally binding.” Harry explains, using his hands to gesture emphatically.

The gentlemen turn to each other, holding a silent conversation full of nods and shakes of heads, gentle shrugs and generally a lot of eye contact.

“I think that could work. It’s very unusual, just so you’re aware…?”

The boys nod.

“Alright.”

“We’ll reconvene at another time, yeah? We need some time to add this into the timeline.”

…

“Louis, can you please try to smile.” Danielle says with a sigh, a forced smile on her own face. It doesn’t look fake of course, she is an actor.

“Fine.” Louis grumbles, plastering on the fakest of fake smiles he can muster up.

“Louis!”

“Nothing more is required of me.” He mutters. “I signed a contract, same as you.”

She rolls her eyes and looks away.

He can already see the headlines. 

…

‘Dream couple seen having a small dispute over what kind of lettuce to buy at the local supermarket.

Louis Tomlinson, 24 and his girlfriend of several months, Danielle Campbell, 21, were seen grocery shopping again this afternoon. They appeared to have a small disagreement over some trivial shopping matter, that passerby witnessed. It’s good to know they are only human just like the rest of us!

“They had a short argument of some sort, in the produce aisle. Then they were over it.” A passerby explains to us.

We are glad to see that they can recover so quickly from little discussions such as this. Really makes you wish you had a relationship as perfect as theirs, doesn’t it?’

 

This is the start of an article published later on that afternoon in an online gossip magazine.

Louis is not berated over the ‘dispute’, as the articles seem to turn it into a good thing about the ‘couple’, their willingness to compromise or summat.

 

“I cannot believe people read this stuff.” Louis grumbles to himself later that evening, feet propped up on the coffee table. He’s wearing socks. Because he is in a weird mood. And he likes to defy normality in situations such as these.

“Me neither.” Harry replies distractedly from the other side of the sofa where he’s messing around on his phone. His long legs are stretched out, feet lying in Louis’ lap. Louis pats his toes, making little popping sounds each time. “What are you doing…?”

“Making your toes pop.”

“Okay.”

…

“Lima.” Louis says with a yawn, sitting up and stretching big. He waves his arms in the air back and forth, before plopping back down in his bed, head snuggled between two large pillows. “Why’re you calling. S’early.”

“It’s really not mate. It’s like noon over there.”

“S’what I said… Early.”

“Yeah, so I had a grocery shopping datuh today.”

“Mmm I had one yesterday. So fun isn’t it?”

“I’m awfully sorry you have to do all this bud. It sucks.”

Liam is very good at stating the obvious.

“Luckily think I’ll be taking over a little bit for the time being. You know, while they wrap up the baby thing.”

“Hmm.”

“You still there mate?”

“No. I’ms a’sleeps.”

Liam lets out a pained sigh.

“When you want to talk to your friends and all they want to do is sleep,” he huffs. “Alright, I’ll call Harry.”

“You do that.”

 

“Whazzit Li?”

“Just called Louis. Why’re you letting him sleep in until noon?”

“What? He’s still asleep? I thought he was already out when I woke up. Damn it.”

“That’s for sure mate.”

“Thanks.”

Harry walks down the hall scratching his bum and knocks softly on Louis’ door. There is no answer. He knocks a bit louder, but still nothing.

“Louis?”

Again, no answer. He opens the door to find Louis absolutely conked out, limbs splayed across the bed. The blue duvet lies precariously on the edge of the bed, finally in reprieve from Louis’ midnight attacks.

“Oh he’s really out of it.” He says into the phone.

“Wake him up!”

“I will. Bye Liam.”

“Wait… But I—”

Harry hangs up. He walks into the room and heads straight to the curtains, whipping them open with a flourish. The sun shines in on Louis’ creased sleep ridden face. Louis groans and throws an arm over his eyes.

“Morning Boobear, rise and SHINE!” Harry says loudly with a smirk. He walks over to the edge of the bed and then proceeds to jump on top of Louis.

“Ooomph.” Louis grunts, trying to shove him away.

Harry just curls up, tucking his face into Louis’ neck and wrapping his arms around his middle. Eventually Louis gives up and just hugs him back. They lie there for a while quietly. Louis slowly drifting back to sleep.

“GET UP GET UP IT’S TIME TO GET UP!!!!” Harry shouts into his ear and this time Louis shoves him off the bed and onto the floor. Harry rolls around on the floor cackling obnoxiously, the duvet tangled up with his limbs.

“Ugh I hate you ‘arry!” Louis grumbles, sliding a pillow over his head, his accent more pronounced in this sleep ridden state.

“No you don’t, you looovee me.”

“Do not.”

Harry climbs back up on the bed, squeezing Louis from behind and kissing him repeatedly below his ears and all over the back of his messy hair.

“Yes you do.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No. No I don’t.”

“You do.”

“No I don’t.”

“Yes you do.”

Harry squeezes him super tight, his grip unrelenting.

“F-fine.” Louis gasps out.

“Say it.”

“I love you.”

Harry lets go and Louis turns around in his grasp, so they are face to face.

“Of course you do.” Harry says smugly.

Louis looks down to his plush pink lips and an idea begins to form in his head. Before thinking it through, he smiles at Harry innocently, hands reaching up to cup his cheeks. In one swift movement he pulls his head down and presses their lips together. He slides them together and waits for Harry to pull back… He doesn’t. It takes him a moment but he responds. Harry slides his arms down Louis’ sides and squeezes his hips as he kisses him slowly and languidly. 

And now Louis doesn’t know what is happening. This was supposed to be a joke. He loses all train of thought for a minute, mind thoroughly distracted by the kiss.

Finally, Louis pulls their lips apart with a loud obnoxious smack and grins at Harry.

“You betcha I love you ‘arry.” He says and rolls the younger boy off of him. He jumps out of bed and practically sprints from the room, hand to his lips.

 

Harry lies on the bed, limbs splayed out on his back, stunned. ‘What the hell just happened?’ He wonders. One moment he was teasing Louis and the next he was being kissed. And he was sure it was a joke, and he wanted to get back at him, so he kissed him ‘passionately’, but then Louis had waited just a little bit too long before pulling away. Not that Harry was complaining. Just… what…

It was probably just Louis furthering the joke even farther. That would make sense. More sense than… well… anything else. Yup that’s all it was. Harry gets up and walks to the kitchen to start breakfast.

 

Louis has come to a similar conclusion of his own, standing in front of the bathroom mirror, patting his cheeks. He skips into the kitchen and throws his arms around Harry, turning the two of them around in a circle.

“Now that was something, Harold.” He says and laughs. “Well played.”

“It was something alright, Lou.” Harry says and then smirks for good measure.

Louis hops up on the clean, marble counter next to where Harry is preparing breakfast. He spreads his legs and scratches his stomach.

“Get off my counter and go put a shirt on.” Harry says sternly.

Louis makes a face at him and grabs an orange. He carefully peels it and sets the rinds down next to the sink.

“Lou…” Harry warns. 

Louis throws a rind at his face and smirks.

“Lou!” Harry says, reaching out and grabbing his arm. He has a strong hold and squeezes tightly, his fingers clenching around Louis’ clear, tan skin. Louis just stares at him and waits for Harry to look up. He finally does after realizing that Louis hasn’t said a word. He opens his mouth to scold him and then sees the look on Louis’ face. His breath hitches in his throat as the older man stares at him, eyes full to the brim with love.

Harry lets go of his arm gently, walking to Louis and positioning himself between his legs. He reaches out and grabs hold of Louis’ lower back, pulling him to his chest and squeezing tight. Louis wraps his hands around Harry’s neck, one hand playing with his curls. He kisses the top of Harry’s head and leaves his face there, nose in the curls, just breathing in.

“We’re gonna be fine.” Harry says, like he’s just now realizing it, “Yeah we’re gonna be just fine.”

Louis isn’t sure what he is talking about, but it’s comforting all the same, and sitting there with his Harry in his arms, he really can’t complain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think, I'd appreciate comments, anything you'd like to tell me. <33


	3. Leap Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you lot!
> 
> I'm super sorry for not updating for ages... I got too swept up in the stunts and it was bad for my health. I needed a break and I took one, and I think I'm back for good now.
> 
> This story might be a little less focused on the stunts then it was, seeing as how I haven't been keeping updated with what has been going on.
> 
> And I think we could all use a break from it all, not sure why I thought writing about it would be a good idea.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this update, I wrote it a long time ago, and should have just posted it ages ago, but...

Later that day they are cooped up inside while the sun blazes outdoors and they can’t stop fidgeting. They look to each other, grins full of nerves and the gentleman in the room cough gently to get their attention.

“Honestly how old are you lot?” Irving jokes with them.

They laugh quietly and then try to focus their attention on the task at hand.

“Alright so we’ve set up a timeline of events for your coming out. It’ll end with you coming out officially on June 6, that’s when your rep statement will be released. Does that… How does that sound?”

Harry and Louis look at each other nervously. Harry licks his chapped lips and nods rapidly, reaching out for Louis’ hand.

“We’re a bit nervous if that wasn’t obvious.” Louis jokes, taking Harry’s hand in his own. He places their entwined hands in his lap and breathes deep, offering Harry a comforting squeeze.

“And that’s completely understandable.” Jeff says with a reassuring smile.

They nod and gesture for them to continue.

“Okay, so the timeline that we have for you lot, plus the stuff we added in for your coming out.” Jeff says, gesturing to a screen that lowers from the ceiling to their left.

A slide shows up with a paragraph written on it.

“This basically says that we don’t do pap walk stunts. Everything will be fan documented, we never call the paparazzi. It makes things more believable and less staged and that is obviously what we are going for. We just wanted to tell you that because we know that’s not what you are used to.”

“We are more than up for the change.” Harry says earnestly, squeezing Louis’ hand. 

Jeff and Irving smile sympathetically at them. Louis stares at the floor like it’s the most beautiful thing since sliced bread.

“Yes, good. Well as you know the denial is going to be dropped in a couple days, on March 1st. You both will head back to London the next day. There will probably be paps at the airport on the 2nd, so we’ll need to talk about how you will be acting in their presence. I believe that there will be articles about you receiving support from your bandmates and family during that time, I’m sure they’ve talked with you about what is expected of you during that time.”

Louis nods and breathes out a shaky breath while Harry looks on grimly, tightening his hold on Louis’ hand.

“Well, right after your contract is up with Syco, we aren’t going to have anything happen immediately. You are free to stay with family until the 20th. Well you should head back to London on the 19th at the latest. The four of you are going to be recording on the 20th. We know this isn’t really necessary, but you will figure out something to pass the time, maybe get started on writing new music? The point of this day is to have a fan picture with all four of you in it. Showing that Harry and Louis are in the same place during the hiatus.”

Harry and Louis nod and look to each other, smiling when they catch each other’s eyes.

“On March 22nd the announcement about your new team will be made. We will have the four of you participating in a radio interview just talking about what you’ve been up to during the break and what you are looking forward to, with a new team behind you. On the 25th you have another interview, this one about all the PR stunts you have participated in.The article exposing these stunts, most specifically baby gate, with air on the 30th.

“Also on the 25th we want you to be spotted at the airport flying to the Bahamas. You are going to spend a couple weeks there.”

“Yes.” Irving says, taking over. “This is the basics of wrapping up the old contract and announcing well, us, your new team. Throughout April we will notify you of when we want you to be spotted, that is of course up to you as you aren’t signing anything about it. We have some events planned out though, so we’ll discuss those at a later date. On June 4th, we are suggesting the two of you walking through town and hopefully a picture of you kissing, of course as long as the both of you are comfortable with that.”

Harry and Louis look to each other and smile, both remembering earlier that morning a moment later. They look away and blush, eyes sliding to the floor. Harry clears his throat.

“Yeah.” He says. Louis just nods in agreement, unable to form words that anybody would be able to understand.

“We will let the speculation build for a couple days, then have the rep statement released on the 6th. We are suggesting the two of you tweet confirmation on this day as well as maybe post a selfie of the two of you on Instagram. We would like you to do a live stream on the 10th, so you could announce that that is happening through twitter on the 6th. And then we want to have an interview set up with James Corden on June 29th. How does all that sound?”

“Until I say stop, we are going to follow all your suggestions, so you can just tell us what to do.” Louis says quietly.

Harry nods and smiles widely at Louis.

“It all sounds great to me. Honestly I am… you know, a little nervous, but I’ve got a couple months to prepare, so it’s all good.” Harry says in a slow drawl, his face sheet white and looking terrified.

“I’ll freak out with you, love.” Louis chimes in. 

Harry looks at him gratefully and they slowly get lost in each other’s eyes for moment. Harry squeezing Louis’ hand. He feels so much gratitude for the blue eyed boy sitting next to him. He couldn’t imagine going this long with Louis by his side, only to come out alone. It just feels right for them to do this together, like they do everything else. He tries to express his gratitude with his eyes, his hand, and his heart.

Louis gets it, he does. As much as he often isn’t willing to admit that he needs help, or needs anything at all, he has to admit to himself that he needs Harry. He needs this curly haired lad, and there’s no way he could go through all this without him right by his side. As close as possible, is where Louis wants him, and fake boyfriends seems about as close as you can get in this case. Showing the world their true colors.

…

Later that evening, Louis and Harry sit close together huddled on the couch over mugs of tea in a comfortable silence. Often times it seems they express more in these moments of silence then when they are actively communicating with each other. Other times, the communicating needs a little push.

“It’s actually happening.” Harry says in astonishment.

“What?” Louis says chuckling.

“I— I didn’t know if I’d ever get to come out, seemed pretty daunting when I thought we would be stuck with Syco for the rest of our careers.”

“Oh Hazza.” Louis says with a sigh, curling up and placing his head on Harry’s shoulder; his knees in the curly haired boy’s lap. He holds his tea carefully balanced on his knees, Harry setting his own down on the table.

“But it’s actually happening.”

“I am so happy. And not just for me. For you Harry. I am so happy that you get to come out. You are truly the most amazing person I know, and my favorite person. You deserve this more than anyone in the world.”

“Except for maybe you.” Harry says slyly, sliding an arm around Louis’ shoulders and pulling him closer.

“No. You deserve it more than me.”

“I do not.”

“Do too.”

“I’ll agree to disagree.”

“Of course you will.”

Harry plants a kiss on Louis’ forehead.

“It makes it even better that we are coming out together, Lou.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” Louis says happily, burrowing his face into Harry’s neck and dropping a soft kiss there on the soft skin.

…

Louis wakes up in the morning, mouth clenched with orange juice pouring down his chin. He spits an orange out of his mouth and watches it roll off the bed. He coughs and sits up, a hand smacking his back repeatedly. It takes him a while before he realizes the hand is not his own. He twists under his sheets turning to see Harry sitting there grinning creepily at him.

“S’too early and you look like a frog.” He mumbles, his weight falling slowly and slowly before hitting the pillows, his back to the brunette curls.

“Well you are right about it being early.” The way too cheerful voice exclaims loudly.

“Uh oh.” Louis grumbles, face smashed into his pillow. “How early s’it…?”

“5:00 am.”

Louis splutters, forgotten orange juice spraying onto his sheets.

“The fuck ‘arry?” He says. He still does not turn around.

“I’ve got a special day planned, now get up!! Up and UP and SEIZE THE DAY!!” The way too bright ball of energy bounces on the bed, face comes down to hang in Louis’ vision. His curls tangle themselves in the sheets, and he bounces his head to an imaginary beat.

“Who needs special when you’ve got fine and ordinary. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it ‘azza.” Louis grumbles trying to push Harry out of his line of sight.

“C’mon Lou! It’s Leap Day, this is like the best day ever. Besides your birthday of course. I mean, it only comes every four years. And even then, sometimes it doesn’t come! I mean, extraordinary. Why stick to ordinary when you have this?”

“You should know that I am not hearing a word you say.” Louis says quietly. He heard every word. “And why’d you wake me up by sticking an orange in my mouth…?”

“Because you looouuvvee oranges and you looouuuvvveee me.”

“That makes no sense.”

“Get up.”

“No.”

“Is this gonna go like yesterday?”

“My morning breath didn’t scare you off…”

“No way in hell.”

“Fuck.”

Less than a half hour later, Harry escorts a still grumbling and half asleep Louis to the car, other hand holding a very full beach bag. Not that they are going to the beach. Harry is quick to tell Louis. Louis just rolls his eyes and slumps forward in his seat, face smushed against the dashboard.

Now at this point most people would just give up on the lad. He’s obviously exhausted, or going to pretend like he is, until he gets out of the situation. Luckily, Harry isn’t most people. He knows Lou. And he knows how to get him to do things.

“Buckle up or you can cook for yourself the rest of your life.” Harry says, sliding his bag into the backseat of their rented Prius and sliding into the driver’s side seat.

Louis sits up and buckles his seat. He turns his head and lies back against the head rest, facing the evil boy who interrupted his beautiful sleep. And if he happened to be dreaming of green eyes and brunette curls, well that’s really nobody’s business but his own.

“Where’re you taking me?”

“It’s a surprise.” Harry places his hand on the back of Louis’ seat, turning his head and backing out of his parking nook at the side of the house. He stops the car and then pulls forward and down the drive.

“Of course it is.”

The sun isn’t even up yet. What kind of freak wakes up willingly before the crack of dawn? Right. That would be his best friend and temporary roommate. Better yet, his chef, so he kind of has to treat him nicely. As unfortunate as it may be.

They drive for hours. Well it feels like hours. Louis lets his face smush into the window and watches the landscape whirl on past. They drive past Beverly Hills and then fancy schmancy Hollywood. Louis has never liked Hollywood. They drive past beach after beach. And Harry shows no sign of stopping anytime soon.

Louis closes his eyes and drifts off to a deep slightly gravely voice humming along to the radio. Louis changes the channel when their single, Perfect comes on.

“Louehh!”

“What.”

Harry switches back the channel and Louis sighs.

“C’mon you know Syco hates it when they play our stuff. We basically have to listen to it, it’s like obligation, operation piss off the record label or something like that.”

Louis sighs. The eccentric brunette in the driver’s seat has a point, if a very tiny one.

Eventually after days have gone past and Louis has seen the entire fucking countryside, and no he’s not exaggerating, well maybe a little, Harry slows down and takes an exit to the right. They roll onto a dirt road, a fucking dirt road and the car bounces around and shit.

“Where the fuck are we?”

“Mexico.”

Louis opens his eyes and stares at Harry’s face. Harry calmly navigates the windy road in front of him, steering the car with a practiced ease. Louis’ jaw drops open a little bit more and he only remembers to close it when he feels a little drool on his chin.

“Why did you drive us to Mexico.” It’s more of an accusation than a question in all honesty.

Harry doesn’t say a word.

“Don’t we have to go through customs or summat?”

“Yeah you slept through it.”

“I was not asleep that long.”

“Didn’t wake up when they checked that you weren’t carrying any bombs, giggled in your sleep you did.”

“I beg your pardon, I did not.”

“You did Lou.”

Harry pulls the car to a slow stop, putting it in park and rearranging his sunglasses on the top of his head. He checks his reflection in the mirror, brushing some stray curls off his face.

“Harry.”

“Mhhm.”

“You look great. Now can you tell me what we are doing here?”

Harry opens the car door and steps out, stretching his legs wide and sitting down into lunges shutting the door in Louis’ face as he opens his mouth. Louis huffs and decides that he isn’t going anywhere with Harry. As soon as he asks him if he’s coming, Louis is just going to say no and be a real pain. Yeah, Harry deserves that.

Harry opens the backseat door of the car, pulling out the beach bag and slinging it over his tanned shoulder. He’s wearing one of those ridiculous button ups that he wears. This one is a bright yellow and his skin practically shines like the sun. It’s barely buttoned to his navel as per usual, and his sleeves are slipping over his shoulders as he heaves the heavy bag.

Louis waits expectantly in the car and gasps when the car door slams shut, neither of them having uttered a word. He taps his toes impatiently and huffs in indignation when he sees a perfect little bum walking away from him. Well, this won’t do. He drags himself out of the car, slamming it as hard as he can and grinning triumphantly as the taller lad flinches.

Harry doesn’t turn around though. He just keeps walking. Louis runs to catch up, his short legs having to move much faster to catch up with the long strides.

“Coming shorty?”

“Don’t you dare.” Louis huffs.

Harry chuckles, he actually chuckles. Like this is funny or something and turns to Lou, throwing an arm around his shoulder.

“Glad you got out of the car, Boo, I really think you’ll like this.”

And well, Louis can’t be mad anymore after that, I mean, can he? Yes, yes he can.

“Sure you do.” He says tauntingly.

Harry just laughs again, throwing his head back to the sky and scaring a nearby dwelling flock of birds into the sky.

“You honk when you laugh.” Louis points out, raising his nose and pointedly looking in another direction.

“Proud of it!”

“Of course you are.”

They end up walking out on the most magnificent beach that Louis has ever laid eyes on. It’s like a picture perfect postcard. White sand, burning hot to the touch, Louis and Harry automatically remove their flip flops anyways, cursing as they stride across the sand. The water is a deep aqua blue, practically radiating sunlight.

The cliffs hang round the beach, a small opening the only access besides the waterfront. The sun shines off the shining rocks, water splashing up in beautiful arcs to wet the rocks, higher and higher. The water comes crashing in through a break in the cliffs, roaring up the sand and crashing against the shore. The water reaches in, tendrils stroking the fine surface of the beach, before easing out and away, slowly slipping back to the sea.

“How’d you find this place…?” Louis whispers in awe, scared to break the spell this place seems to hold over him.

“Googled it.” Harry sounds equally in awe. “Had no idea it was this beautiful.” 

Harry carefully lays out a towel on the beach, far from the crashing waves, smoothing out the corners and placing the bag in the sand next to it. He plops down face firsts on the towel after removing his bright yellow shirt, chin propped up on his hands. He stares out at the water, seemingly mesmerized. Louis is equal parts mesmerized, he cannot for the life of him stop staring at the tan skin lying before him. Harry is laid out for the beach to see, and Louis feels lucky that he is the only other person here.

He lies down beside his best friend, shoving his own shirt off and propping himself on his side, staring at brunette curls and suddenly bright green eyes. Harry’s eyes seem to express all the beach is trying to say.

“How come no one else is here?”

“I looked for hidden beaches, ones that are often hard to reach because of the tides. This is the only time of year that this much of the cove is empty of water, enough to actually sit like a normal beach. Hardly anyone knows about it besides the locals and I wasn’t sure to be honest if it would even turn out that great. I just said, here’s hoping and lugged you out here.”

Louis stares in awe, before the words register in his sun addled mind.

“You brought me out here, knowing it could suck…” He states lowly.

“Well yeah. But I had back up plans. Looks like I didn’t need them though.” Harry says as he turns back to look up at the sky. The edges of the cliffs tower above them and the sun shines straight down on them, making their skin glow a golden tan.

“That’s for sure.” Louis says, still looking at Harry.”

“Why’re you looking at me Lou, when you could be looking at… all this.” Harry gestures around the cove.

“Nothing could ever be more beautiful than you ‘arry.” Louis says quietly. 

Harry turns to look into his eyes and his breath catches in his throat. They stare at each other, an intense gaze of blue locked on green. Louis feels like there is nothing else in the world, besides the two of them, here on this secret beach, beneath the rays of the sun.

That is until he hears the ringing. Harry seems to not hear it for awhile, and Louis doesn’t dare alert him lest he ruin this moment. Suddenly Harry jumps up in surprise, gaze flickering to his bag.

“I thought I turned that off, sorry.” Harry says, reaching into his bag.

He’s about to turn it off and shut it back in when he sees the screen. His eyes widen and Louis looks on with confusion.

“Shit.”

“Harry what’s the matter?”

Those beautiful sun filled green eyes from only moments before turn to him, eyes lidded and dark as the dawn.

“Harry?” Louis asks anxiously, sitting up and reaching out for his his friend.

Harry moves like he’s pushing through molasses, slowly holding out the phone for Louis to see. He sits back on his haunches and groans. Louis frowns, full of concern and looks down at the phone.

There appear to be a lot of text messages. The first one says, “I know you’ve got that day planned for Lou but please call me.” It’s from Anne. The next one says, “Really Harry, we need to talk.” And they get more and more anxiety inducing from there. At the top of the screen is the missed call and a voicemail pops up now. The text just below says, “Family emergency HARRY.”

Louis gasps. 

“Do you want to… call her back? She just left a voicemail.” Louis asks timidly.

Harry looks over like he’d forgotten that Louis was still there. 

“Yeah I should probably… do that.” He mumbles, slowly reaching out for the phone. 

Louis unlocks it and opens the phone app, pressing favorites and then “Mum” before handing it back to Harry, as he appears to be in shock. Harry smiles gratefully and presses the phone to his ear. He then pulls it down and presses speaker, setting it on the towel in front of them. 

Harry reaches out for Louis and Louis crawls over, slotting his legs around the younger boy’s middle, and sliding under his arm. Harry grips Louis’ back, pulling him impossibly closer. Louis slides his arms around Harry’s waist, gently stroking the boy’s chest and props his chin on the lad’s shoulder. As Harry turns his head and nuzzles their noses together, Louis can practically feel the nerves radiating off of his body and he just wants to hold him closer.

“Harry????” And anxious voice yelps out over the phone and Louis has to stop himself from flinching.

“Yeah. And Lou.” Harry says.

“I’m so sorry to interrupt your day, I know how important this was to you Har—”

“It’s fine mum.” Harry says quickly, ducking his head away from Louis’ curious gaze.

“Well your sister isn’t.”

Harry pales and shivers as Louis pulls him close. He doesn’t look like he’s going to be able to say anything else. Louis knows how close Harry is to his sister, and just the thought of something being wrong can send him into a frenzy. He takes it on to himself, to continue the conversation.

“Is she…?” Louis finds himself unable to ask the rest of the question.

“She’s alive.”

And well that wasn’t what Louis was asking, but as that’s the first thing she says, Louis knows this is pretty damn serious.

“Oh god.” He mumbles. 

Harry has frozen next to him and Louis runs his hands all over the boy’s chest and back, squeezing with his legs, trying to get him to respond.

“What… what happened?” Louis asks hesitantly.

Anne breaks down in tears and that seems to snap Harry out of it.

“Mum? Mum, what happened?”

Louis listens to the pained noises the woman he looks to as his second mum is making across the airwaves. He gulps and tries not to break down himself, knowing that Harry needs him to be strong right now.

“Your… sister… was… she… was… in a… she….”

“Anne. Deep breaths with me alright?” Louis says and hears her trying to say yes, “In through the nose, 1…2…3…4 out through the mouth, 1…2…3…4…5…5…6 and, in through the nose 1…2…3…4…, and out through the mouth, 1…2…3…4…5…6…”

“Thank you Louis dear.” She breathes, sounding a bit lightheaded.

“Course love.”

“Gemma was in a car accident.” Anne says, just like that.

“Mum!”

“She’s alright, I mean they say she is. She doesn’t look alright, she covered in gashes and all bandaged up everywhere and she can hardly talk.”

Louis feels Harry’s heart racing from where he’s placed a hand on his chest and he rubs in circles over the beating pulse trying to relax him.

“I just needed to let you know, in case you wanted to come. Gemma insists that you should stay with Lou, but it’s entirely up to you, of course.”

Harry sighs and runs a hand down his face, shutting his eyelids. He strokes his chin and nods forward. Louis rubs his back in large circles, whispering little nonsensical thoughts to try and calm him.

After they hang up the phone, they sit in silence for a while. Harry hunched forward and Louis continuing to rub his back.

“Harry I think… I think you should go—”

“No. Lou I said I would stay—”

“I know. But I also know you Harry and you aren’t going to stop worrying until you’ve seen her. You need to go and take care of your sister, I’ll… I’ll be fine and I’m coming home in two days anyways. It’s only two days. Two days.”

“See Lou! You’re worried you won’t be okay without me, I need to stay.”

“I’m not—”

“Lou.”

“You need to go. You do, Harry.”

Harry meets Louis’ eyes and stares into them, trying to read what’s going on in the blue haired boy’s mind. The thing is: he needs to go, he knows that, but he knows even more that he needs to be with Louis. He promised he would stay by his side no matter what, and yeah they didn’t talk about family members getting in serious car accidents, but he still feels like he should stay. 

But maybe, Louis is tired of him being around? He can’t bear the thought, but Louis’ face is so serious right now, so determined that Harry should go home. Maybe it’s because he wants him to leave?

Harry breaks the eye contact first, turning to look at the ground. He slowly extracts himself from Louis’ grasp, ignoring the little pleas of protest. He stands up and stretches, cursing at the loud cracks that his back makes. He reaches down and plucks his shirt from the sand, putting it on, and leaving it unbuttoned.

“Mate, I didn’t mean you had to leave now…” Louis says.

Oh, Harry thinks. So Louis is saying he should leave. That’s okay. Everyone gets tired of their friends from time to time, and just because Harry doesn’t think he could ever get tired of Louis doesn’t mean Louis feels the same way about him.

“I just… I’m going to ruin the day for us. I’d like us to remember this place with good thoughts if possible, not me moping around the rest of the afternoon, yeah?”

Harry avoids Louis seemingly curious gaze and reaches for the towel.

“Alright Harry.”

The drive back is mostly silent, save for the radio on a low volume. Neither dares breathe a word. The tension is thick, and they both wish it wasn’t. Harry’s mum calls four times and Robin calls twice, Harry answering through the car speakers. Louis feels awkward all six times even though he know that he shouldn’t. It’s just that he doesn’t feel very connected to Harry right now… and that is extending to his family. When really they should all be closer than ever. Ever since the two families met, they been steadily becoming closer and closer on all accounts. 

Louis doesn’t know what he did wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it!
> 
> I'll be trying to continue this story, as I don't like unfinished work, but it probably won't be regular updates. 
> 
> Maybe though, we'll see if I can get back in the swing of things.
> 
> If you have anything you would like me to add to the story, let me know and I'll see what I can do.
> 
> I love every single one of you who has read any part of this. <3


	4. Home, soon to return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! So I already posted today and I'm going to post again!
> 
> This is only because I already had part of this written and just got into a rhythm this afternoon.
> 
> I'm super sorry about what's happening to Gemma, I have no idea why I wrote this.
> 
> I really hope y'all like it anyways :)

Louis is sat on the corner of Harry's bed watching his best friend pack his bags. They are going to be in England for a long time and he’s taking a lot of stuff with him. Louis has been sat in this same position for the past three hours, trying desperately not to cry.

“Should I bring this?” Harry questions, his back turned to Louis. He holds up a book that Louis has never heard of in his life.

Harry has been doing this for the past three hours as well, trying to delay the time until he has to leave. Unfortunately for him, his flight is fixed.

“H, we have to go in like 30 minutes.” Louis replies.

“Shit.”

Harry proceeds to race around the room after that, throwing things into his bag and taking other things out. It’s quite the production to watch Harry pack, it is. He changes his mind about everything at least once, and he rushes out of the room only to come sprinting back in moments later to yank open his closet doors.

Louis just watches, letting the spectacle before him distract his emotions. It’ll be no help to Harry if Louis makes it an emotional departure. It’s already taking everything in him to convince Harry that this is a good idea. And he’s not even sure that it is. Well of course it is, but I mean, it would only be two days later. But Harry would be miserable for those two days, and Louis would just feel guilty.

It’s better this way, and Louis will be joining him soon enough. He won’t have to miss him for long. And he’s got another pap walk in two days to distract him. What he’s going to do tomorrow, he has no idea. They were supposed to spend the day together, but seeing as that obviously isn't going to happen… Oh well, he’s sure he’ll think of something.

…

Harry feels ridiculous, racing around the house like a lunatic, with Louis just sitting there waiting for him to leave. To get out of his life.

Oh how Harry doesn’t want to leave. He wants to stay here with his best friend, or better yet, bring Louis with him, but he knows that isn’t possible, not yet. Two days, Harry, two days.

Finally Harry is ready to go. He slings his duffle bag over his shoulder and grabs his phone and keys, shoving them into his pockets. He takes a last look around his house. He’s mostly sad to be leaving Louis, but a part of him is going to miss L.A. as well. He loves this city, he’s not sure why. It’s hot and nothing like England. But he doesn’t know when he’s going to come back, the stunting could keep them in England for quite some time.

Not that it’s really “stunting” anymore. He’s hardly lying. Maybe he and Louis haven’t been together for five years, but they’ve been something for five years. Something that the public hasn’t gotten to see. And he can’t wait to show them. Basically all that they are going to be doing is hanging out together, a lot. Which they do already, but now there will be cameras around, and the pictures will actually be allowed to be posted.

He feels light headed just thinking about it all. This has been his dream, the one thing he thought he could never have, well besides being in the most successful band on the planet. 

But being able to be completely honest about every single part of him. That’s really a dream come true.

He has been out to his friends and family for as long as he can remember. He had a boyfriend back in primary school, and everyone knew about them, as Holmes Chapel really isn’t that big a town. He first came out as bi is the thing. And he really thought he was, but he has realized since then, that though he admires women and their bodies, he’s not interested in them either sexually or romantically. He just loves to be around them. He’d like to think he’s pan. That sounds like something he would be, being so open to everything and anyone.

But he’s gay. And there’s nothing he can do to change that. And even if there was? He wouldn’t change it for a minute. It’s made him who he is today, and he’s rather proud of who that person is. Even if he’s had to lie to so many people he cares about, and he knows now that it’s not his fault that he’s had to do that. Maybe he was young and stupid, but so were the four idiots that he calls his best friends. They all had stars in their eyes, and they just signed whatever was placed in front of them.

Does Harry regret that? Signing his life way? Wholeheartedly. But at the same time, he’s glad that he can’t change it. Because the struggle that he has been put through has made him so much stronger. He would be nowhere near to the person he is today, if he hadn't been forced to hide himself for so long. And he knows stuff now to help other kids following in his footsteps, stuff that will hopefully stop this from happening to anyone else ever again.

He knows that it’s a lot to wish for. That he could save other people in his situation. But he’s determined to do it. He’s going to bring fucking Simon Cowell down. And he’s not going to let him screw over anymore innocent children. Also Sony. Sony is stupid. People think that Harry is a lot more eloquent than someone who would use the word ‘stupid’. But he’s really not. That isn’t him. And all he can think about when someone says Sony, is stupid arse screw-ups and he sees red. A lot of it.

What they did to him, and what they did to Lou, that is something that can never be forgotten. Maybe forgiven, Harry knows the power of forgiveness, but not forgotten.

Louis is the most wonderful human being on the entire planet, in Harry’s eyes. He’s the sweetest, most caring person that Harry has ever met. And people who think he’s loud and sarcastic, just don’t know the half of it. He’ll do absolutely anything for those he loves, and Harry is living proof. If it weren’t for Louis, he would be the one in the middle of this baby stunt right now. And that is exactly why Harry doesn’t want to leave him, why he promised that he wouldn’t leave him.

He can’t do it. He can’t leave.

But then he imagines Gemma, lying in a hospital bed, unable to move. Louis can move. Louis can take care of himself. He can. And just because Harry doesn’t want to believe that Louis will be okay without him, because he knows that he wouldn’t be okay without Louis, he has to let him try. Because he needs to be there for his sister. His sister who has made her fair share of sacrifices for her little brother. God, he loves her so much. He needs to get to her. Right now.

Louis pulls into the security private parking at LAX and Harry jumps out of the car. They haven’t talked the whole ride over, and Harry is so nervous to be saying goodbye. He watches as Louis removes his bag from the backseat and hands it to him with a smile, a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

And since when does Louis actually want him to leave? Has he been too suffocating, not allowing Louis to breathe? He thought he was just playing the supportive friend, maybe he’s been too much. And Louis seems more than okay with Harry leaving. He eagerly watched him back his bags, he sped to the airport. He jumped out of the car and tossed Harry his bag.

And maybe Harry is slightly over-exaggerating it all. But what if he isn’t? What if Louis does actually want him to leave?

…

“Are you sure you’re… I mean… Lou…”

“I’ll be fine Harry. I’ll see you in two days, yeah?”

“It just doesn’t feel right to leave you—”

“Harry!” As much as Louis loves the boy, he is driving him absolutely insane. He is one second away from dropping to his knees and begging him to stay. He knows it wouldn’t be necessary, Harry clearly doesn’t want to go, or at least doesn’t want to leave Louis. Louis knows that he needs to see his sister though, and that is what is important right now, not Louis’ feelings and not Harry’s morals; his self-assigned duties. He needs to leave.

They are standing at the boarding gate now. The private boarding gate, they don’t try to force their way through the crowds if it isn’t absolutely necessary. They’ve gone through security and Louis is trying to assure Harry that he’ll be alright, and he doesn’t quite know how to do that.

“Harry if you don’t get on that plane right now…” He doesn’t want to play this card. He really doesn’t want to play this card. “I’ll have to re-think our, “ he coughs, “arrangement.”

Harry eyes widen and Louis worries that the boy is going to drop dead right there.

“Lou…” he breathes out quietly. “If you don’t want to do it—”

“Harry what do I have to say to convince you that I am going to be fine?”

Harry stares open mouthed at the older boy, gears shifting in his head.

“I don’t… know… just… I-I want…”

“You want what?”

“I don’t want you to want me to leave.” Harry rushes out quickly.

Louis furrows his eyebrows waiting for his brain to process the words. When it finally does, his eyes well up with sympathy and guilt.

“Hazza I don’t want you to leave! That’s why this is so difficult, you’re lucky I’m so stubborn, I’m so closing to losing my resolve and begging you to stay. That isn’t what’s important though. You’ve stuck by my side throughout all of this and you deserve a break—”

“I enjoy spending time with you Lou.”

“I know. Same with you. But you need to see your family, and especially with Gemma in the hospital… Haz you need to go.”

Harry looks at the floor, scuffing his expensive boot against the carpet.

“Don’t do that.” Louis admonishes sharply. 

Harry looks up in surprise.

“I’m going to miss you.” He says.

“Haz, I’m going to miss you too. So much. But we’ll be okay. And we can FaceTime, and it will be fine. It has to be fine.”

Louis reaches out and pulls the younger man into a tight hug, it takes all of his willpower not to squeeze him to death, he just really doesn’t want to let go. Eventually he does, and takes a step back.

“On you go.” He tries to say brightly, afraid that the tears threatening his eyes are going to spill over.

Harry has already got tears running down his cheeks.

“Oh Hazza.” Louis reaches up and wipes the tears from his boy’s face.

…

Louis is sitting in Harry’s house. He’s sitting in Harry’s house and Harry isn’t with him. He’s sitting in Harry’s house while Harry is halfway back to England. He feels frozen to his seat, arms clasping the sides of his chair, hands held in tight fists. This just feels so wrong. He hadn’t realized how even more freakily dependent on the boy he had become. It’s been three hours and yet, it feels like forever.

Normally when he’s in L.A. and he’s out and about without Harry, he has something to distract himself. He’s working or hanging out with friends. Who is he kidding? Most of the time he is working. But sitting here in Harry’s Los Angeles home, without the boy in question, with nothing to do, it’s quite well, frustrating to put it simply

Luckily he only has to endure this for one more day, before he’s reunited with his boy back in England.

…

Harry can’t stop himself from crying for the beginning of the flight. Eventually the flight attendants stop asking him if he’s okay, and just let him be. Soon enough, he cries himself to sleep.

He wakes up to the captain’s voice announcing that they are about to arrive in England. He glances down at his phone to see A LOT more messages there than were there when he fell asleep. He locks his phone down and tosses it into his bag, he won’t need it for a while. Robin is supposed to be there to pick him up at the airport. Then he can call his mum in the car, tell her that he’s on his way.

He watches as the flight attendants walk down the aisles, closing the overhead compartments and encouraging people to turn off their phones and stow their bags. He does what he needs to do, so they won’t have to ask. He doesn’t want to be any trouble for anyone.

He grips the edge of his seat and peers out at the landscape below him. He can see London in all it’s glory, grey buildings all around. But he can also see the London Eye, and that’s a sight to behold from the sky. He pinches his skin, to stop from feeling nauseous and wishes that Louis were there to hold his hand. He reaches into the outer pocket of his bag and pulls out a pack of gum. He puts a stick of it in his mouth and starts chewing, tearing his eyes away from the window.

He breathes heavily and thinks of Lou as they are landing. He think of his tan, angular face. The scruff on his chin, and his thin pink lips. He thinks of the fringe covering his forehead and his small ears hiding behind his hair. He thinks of his small nose, right in the middle of his face. He thinks of those blinding blue eyes that look like they can peer into his soul. He thinks of his muscular arms and how they feel when they are holding Harry close. He thinks of his little body and smiles as he begins to think of the fans, and how they dubbed him smol.

He loves his fans. He really does. And he sometimes wishes there weren’t so many of them, so that he could feel closer to them. Sometimes it feels like this never ending void and he can’t latch on to any one individual person. He wants to be close to them, he wants to do live streams with Louis like he used to. Perhaps they can start that up again. He’ll have to ask Lou. Oh and management of course.

He smiles when he thinks of his new management and the ideas that they are able to come up with. He can’t believe he got so lucky as to be able to come out with Louis. The thought hadn’t even crossed his mind, he had never thought it possible. He supposes he’d considered how they would come out together, if they were that. If they were together. But getting to come out together together and not actually be together, it’s the second best thing.

He’s still smiling as he stands up and makes his way off the plane. He smiles as he shakes all the flight attendants hands and peeks into the cockpit to thank the captain personally. He smiles as he walks down the steps of the plane, practically skipping across the pavement. He enters the airport, security hot on his heels, and makes his way to baggage claim. 

He smiles when he sees Robin standing there, Harry’s bag already on his shoulder. He rushes forward and throws himself into his arms.

“I missed you so much.” Harry mutters into his stepfather’s neck.

“I missed you too, Harry.” Robin says, smiling.

Harry sees the creases in the skin by his eyes, the dark spots below his eyes, the wear and tear that has affected the lines in his forehead. He sees the sadness in his eyes. And then Harry remembers why he’s here. Why he’s here without Louis. Louis.

“How’s Gems?” He asks, taking his bag from the old man’s shoulder.

“She’s…” The man reaches up and rubs the creases between his eyebrows. He looks up with a genuine smile, “They think she’s going to be okay.”

Harry grins and throws himself back into Robin’s arms. They walk out of the airport, arms slung around each other. They make their way through the private exit and a valet pulls up in Robin’s car. Harry plops his bag into the backseat, unzipping it wide enough to yank his phone out. He settles into the front seat and waits as Robin talks to the valet.

Soon enough they are on their way and Harry asks if he should call his mum. Robin says to go ahead, and lets Harry plug his phone into the speakers, so that they can both talk to her. The phone rings and rings after Harry’s presses his mother’s name in his phone.

“Harry?” Anne’s voice comes through the car speakers.

“And Robin.” Harry replies.

“Are you both on your way then?”

“Should be about 20 minutes.” Robin says.

“Alright good. She’s…”

“She’s what, mum?”

“I know I said she was fine with you staying with Louis, but… she’s been asking for you.”

Harry heart clenches in his chest and it’s suddenly a bit hard to breathe. He should have gotten here sooner. He shouldn’t have spent so much time trying to avoid the inevitable. How could he be so selfish? And he knows that it was selfish, because it wasn’t that he didn’t want to leave Louis, it’s that he needs him. It wasn’t just about Louis, it was about him. And his sister needed him.

“We’re almost there.” He chokes out. “Can you tell her?”

“Of course, dear.”

They arrive at the hospital a couple minutes earlier than planned and Harry waits impatiently as Robin speaks to the valet. When he’s done, they rush inside.

“What floor?” Harry asks breathlessly, heading towards the elevator.

“Third.” Robin replies.

They hop in the elevator and nod to a couple maybe in their 30s. Harry doesn’t say anything. As much as he wants to, he knows about elevator etiquette. Especially in hospitals, people don’t always want to talk. 

They reach the second floor in almost no time at all, and Harry exits, following Robin, when the couple hangs back. He follows Robin down the hall and waves at the nurse’s station before pausing to chat.

“Erin?” He asks, reading her name tag.

“Yes, dear.”

“I’m Harry, here to visit my sister Gemma Styles.”

“Oh, of course, we were waiting for you!” Erin replies, “I’m glad you could make it.”

“Thank you.” He replies, hurrying along the hall after his stepfather.

Robin is standing outside a room, waiting for Harry.

“You are too kind.” He says to Harry as he approaches.

Harry blushes and looks down at the floor.

“Just seemed like the polite thing to do.” He defends.

“It was.” Robin says, “Just made me look rather rude.” But he’s grinning and Harry knows he isn’t serious.

Robin turns and knocks quietly on the door, opening it and making way for Harry to enter the room. Harry walks in and pauses to take in his surroundings. It’s a single room, thank God. Harry admires the way the light shines in through the blinds at the window. His mum rushes to him in the next instant, crashing him into her arms.

“Thank you so much for coming Harry.” She says, close to tears.

“Mum…” He says, holding her close.

She steps back but keeps a firm grip on his arms, wiping tears off her cheeks. She leads him over to the bed, and it’s 5 years of media training that stops him from flinching when he sees his sister.

She’s got a white bandage wrapped around the top of her head. Well, it used to be white, there are red splotches everywhere. Her right eye is swollen shut and there’s a huge bruise on that entire side of her face. Her left arm and right leg are in casts, being lifted up by wires on the ceiling. She’s wearing a hospital gown and his mum wasn’t exaggerating about the gashes. She’s got red marks all around her neck and chest, and down on her other leg and arm.

Harry inches forward slowly, almost unsure what to do. She does her best at a smirk. Of course she does. She is his sister. But then she twinges in pain.

“Gems.” He says, walking the rest of the way to the bed and leaning over her gently.

He doesn’t put any pressure on her body, just presses a gentle kiss to her chin and pulls up the chair behind him. He sits down and she reaches out her arm, before wincing and pulling it back. He reaches forward and gently takes hold for her right hand, laying her fingers out on top of his own.

“Haz.” She mumbles. His mum was right, it’s hard to understand her.

Her eyes fill up with tears, and soon she’s full on crying and then Harry is too, of course. He pulls himself closer to the bed and reaches up his left hand to stroke her hair.

“I wasn’t… I didn’t… think… I’d… see y-you… again.” She stutters out, between labored breaths.

“Gemma…” He says, leaning forward to kiss her face again.

“Listen…” she says.

Harry just nods and maybe squeezes her fingers a little tighter.

“When… I was… in … the car… and… the truck… came… at me… I didn't think… that I… was… going… to… make… it.” She breathes out, “It… was… so close…and just… head… on… and… Harry… don’t …cry…love.”

Harry is of course crying. His head hunched over, hand running through his hair.

“I’m sorry Gems.” Harry says, “I’m so fucking sorry. I should have been here, I should have been here.”

“No!” Gemma exclaims, moving her fingers across Harry’s palm. “You… you are… taking… care… of Lou… that’s where… you should… be. But… I’m glad… you’re… you’re here.”

“I’m glad I’m here too, Gems.” Harry wipes the tears from his eyes, and reaches back out to stroke her hair. “I love you so much Gems.”

“I… love… you.” She whispers, face more content then when he got here.

Harry looks up to say something else, but finds her fast asleep. He feels his mother move behind him, leaning down and wrapping her arms around his neck. She strokes his chest gently and whispers in his ear.

“We’re so glad you’re here.”

And Harry is too.

But maybe a small part of him, (okay a large part), wishes that Louis were here with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to keep working on this, because I'm actually getting excited again.
> 
> It still won't be regular updates, but as soon as I have something I'll try to put it up, that might mean a lot at once and then nothing for while.
> 
> I love you all


	5. Phone calls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stupid thing won't let me post with emoticons??
> 
> boooo
> 
> Not thrilled with this chapter, but I think it turned out okay.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Harry is stood outside the hospital room, his mum and Robin right beside him. Gemma has been asleep for an hour or so and Harry is feeling exhausted. He rubs his hand over his tired eyes and takes in a deep breath. He leans back against the wall, his other arm hanging around his mum’s shoulders.

“You should get some sleep, Harry.” Anne says, as she rests her head on his shoulder.

“I don’t want to leave Gems.” Harry says, fighting back a yawn.

“I won’t leave. I’ll stay and you and Robin go get some rest.”

“And I’ll come around midnight and take over.” Robin chimes in.

“Where’re you lot staying?” Harry asks.

“A hotel not far from here.” Robin replies as Anne nods into his shoulder.

“I think I’ll head over to my flat.” Harry muses, his hand on his chin.

Harry strokes the teensy amount of scruff that he’s got going on. He doesn’t think it’s ever going to grow. Not anymore than this.

“That sounds fine. And you can head over in the morning to take over from Robin.” Anne yawns, lifting a hand to cover her mouth.

“Alright.” Harry says.

He gives his mum a kiss on the forehead, other arm reaching around to bring her into a hug. He hugs her close and kisses her hair.

“I missed you.” He mutters into her hair.

“I missed you too, H.” She whispers back. “Now go!” she says with a laugh.

“Alright, alright.” He says, reaching out for Robin.

After saying goodbye to his parents, he sneaks back into the room to kiss Gemma goodbye. He strokes her hair and promises that he’ll be back in the morning.

He leaves the room and closes it softly behind him, his mum now inside.

“Need a ride to your flat?” Robin asks him.

Harry does indeed need a ride, he hadn’t thought of that. He says so, and Robin barks out a laugh. They wave to Erin on their way out of the hospital unit.

Less than an hour later, Harry is lying in his bed in his flat. His own bed. Well, one of them. He went around and checked that everything was as it should be, before just collapsing into bed. He wants to just go to sleep, but he doesn’t think he’ll be able to without talking to Louis first. He checks his watch. Good, Louis should be awake. He should be. That doesn’t mean he will be. He scrolls through his favorites and clicks on Louis’ name, holding the phone up to his ear.

It rings and rings and rings and he begins to think that Louis isn’t going to answer, when it beeps and his voice is ringing through.

“Hazza…” Louis mumbles. 

“Lou, it’s like noon over there, you should be awake.”

“Good thing you called then.”

Harry huffs in exasperation, a fond smile spreading across his face.

“How’s Gemma?” Louis asks quietly.

“She’s… Lou… she’s not… good per say.”

“Anything I can do?” Louis sounds even more pouty now.

“Get your arse over here as soon as possible.” Harry jokes, but he’s actually feeling deadly serious.

“One more day mate.”

“Are you feeling okay? Besides having just woken up? Like…”

“H, I’m not mad at you for leaving.”

“Are you sure? I’m a little mad at me for leaving.”

“Only a little now?” Louis asks with a laugh.

“You should have seen her. I… I need to be here.”

It’s silent on the other end of the phone for a moment, before Louis’ voice comes crackling through.

“I am so, so sorry Haz.”

“Me too.”

“I’ll be fine, and I’ll see you both in less than 36 hours.”

“Look at you! Doing all the maths and stuff.” Harry teases.

Louis sounds like he’s going to say something, before changing his mind and huffing out a laugh.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“You know if you had made something up, you wouldn’t actually have to tell me. But now I know it’s something important. Because you said ‘nothing’.”

“I just… I miss you.” Louis mumbles.

Harry sighs and a small smile creeps onto his face.

“I miss you too, Lou. A lot. I was sitting in there and all I wanted, besides her not being in that bed at all, was for you to be there beside me.”

“I will be. Soon.”

“I know.”

“You should get some sleep H.”

“But I like talking to you.” Harry whines.

“Goodnight Hazza.” Louis says with a laugh.

“‘Night, Lou.”

Harry hangs up and exits the phone app. He stares at his home screen, a picture of him and Lou several months ago. They’d been joking around backstage and Niall had come up and snapped a photo of their laughing faces. Harry had his arms around Louis’ waist, trying to pull him around, and Louis had his head thrown back, hands placed on Harry’s chest as he tried to free himself.

Harry smiles at the picture, burrowing his face into his pillow. He closes his eyes and dreams of when they can finally be who they really are, in the eyes of their fans, and in the eyes of the public. 

…

Harry wakes up to the sounds of his alarm. The song is a fan made audio clip of his and Louis’ combined solos in several of their songs. Harry loves it. He rolls over with his phone clutched to his chest. Smiling as he remembers the picture, frowning when he sees that his phone is about to die. He leaps up and plugs it into the wall.

Harry strolls into his kitchen, hand pushing back through his messy curls. He makes himself a healthy breakfast of scrambled eggs and a fruit salad. He worries his lip as he wonders what Louis is eating without him. It’s likely that it isn’t anything healthy.

An hour later and Harry is exiting his flat, locking the door behind him and skipping down the steps to the car park. He missed his car. The one he keeps in London. Or maybe he just missed London. He hops in and plugs his phone in, pressing play on his Spotify music as he makes his way to the hospital.

He gets the call when he’s maybe half way there.

“Hey Lou!” He chirps happily.

So maybe he’s in a good mood. What’re you gonna do, sue him? *scoffs* Okay yeah actually don’t sue him. Like his sister is in the hospital and like really not doing well and then there’s his best friend whose like in the middle of the worst stunt in PR history. Yeah not sure where this is going…

Don’t sue him. Even if he does have the money.

“H.” Louis half chokes, half sobs through the phone.

“Lou? What’s wrong.”

So Louis proceeds to tell him what’s wrong.

He was out and about, trying to find something interesting to do, (which by the way there is like nothing to do in L.A. and Louis doesn’t understand how Harry can love the place.) He was just minding his own business, walking down the street when a couple girls raced across the street to greet him. They were squealing and dancing from foot to foot and didn’t even check the traffic.

So after Louis scolded them for forgoing their safety and got them to promise that in the future they would be more careful, they asked him for a picture. Of course he said yes, he loves interacting with fans. Not all the time maybe, but hey, he was bored and they seemed nice. And then… they brought up Freddie.

Well one girl did. She said, “I’m so happy that you have a kid now. I know like so many people are unsupportive of you but I just want you to know, that I think it’s super brave of you to be doing what you’re doing.”

And Louis just thought, I mean, if she only knew.

And then the other girl chimed in saying, “Do you mind if I’m perfectly honest with you?” And Louis said that no, he didn’t mind at all. And she said, “It’s just hard for me to believe that it’s true. Not because I want you for myself or whatever, honestly I’m a Niall girl, just the way that it was handled in the press was so unusual.”

Harry sighs, knowing where this conversation is going by now.

“And of fucking course I couldn't tell her!” Louis exclaims.

Harry leans his head against the steering wheel, hands massaging his thighs at the stoplight.

“I’m so sorry Lou.”

“And I wanted to soooooo badly, Harry, soooooooooooo badly.”

Harry manages a small smile, even in this desolate situation.

“I know, Lou.”

“But I didn’t. And I deserve a fucking raise for that honestly.” Louis says, trying to turn this all into a joke. But it’s gone too far, and Harry already can tell how much it hurt him, to lie.

He doesn’t want to make him relieve the scene, but eventually Harry’s curiosity gets the better of him.

“What did you tell her?”

“I said that everyone is allowed to have their own opinions and that no one should try change them. I said that if someone tells them they are wrong, they have to hold their heads up high and remember what they believe in.”

“Shit Lou.”

“I know. So then I showed them a picture of the doll and started gushing over it so maybe they’ll just remember that part of it.”

“I’m proud of you.”

“You are?”

“Of course I am. That’s totally something I would have said.”

“Maybe I’ve been spending too much time with you.”

“Lou!” Harry pretends to gasp in a shocked manner.

“I could never spend too much time with you, H. Never.”

And maybe Harry can’t stop grinning after that.

“Ditto, mate.” Harry replies.

And maybe Louis can’t either.

“Hey do you think I could talk to Gemma?”

“Yeah, I’m not there yet, but do you want to Skype when I get there?”

“I get to see your beautiful face again!” Louis squeals.

Harry rolls his eyes.

“To see Gems, idiot.”

“And you.”

Harry huffs.

“Fine. And me.”

 

When Harry gets to the hospital, he follows in his footsteps from the day before, proud that he doesn’t have to look up any directions. He waves to the new nurse on duty, stopping to chat, before heading on down the hall. Harry knocks softly on the door and then opens it, entering and shutting it behind him. He finds Gemma asleep on the bed, and Robin conked out in a chair beside her.

He smiles at his family, setting his bag on the chair by the window. He walks forward and gently shakes Robin’s shoulders. The other man wakes up slowly, bringing his hands up to rub at his eyes. He jumps and then looks over to Gemma, relaxing when he finds her still asleep. He then looks up the Harry, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Scared me there, son.” He says.

Harry smiles and moves to let Robin past.

“Get some sleep.” He says softly, careful to not wake his sister.

After Robin leaves, Harry pulls the chair he had been sitting in, closer to the bed and gets comfortable. He leans back and props his feet on the ledge beneath the hospital bed. He shuffles around, these chairs really aren’t that comfy, and pulls his phone out of his back pocket. He smiles at a text from Louis.

Louis: can i c u yet can i can i

Harry: she’s still asleep mate.

Louis: :(

Harry: I’ll call you as soon as she wakes up.

Harry: And after I talk to her.

Louis: :-(

Gemma stirs on the bed, and Harry drops his phone into his lap. He leans forward and peers at her face. She slowly tries to sit up, then stops, like she’s just now remembering that she can’t. He hears her sigh, low and suffering and internally groans. Her eyes flit open and catch on his face.

“Hazza,” she smiles sleepily.

“Hey Gems,” he smiles back, taking her hand in his. “Feeling any better?”

“A lot… actually… I mean… rested. I feel…”

“Rested?”

Gemma nods and turns her head slightly so she can look at him more full on. He scoots even closer to the bed to make it easier on her neck.

“They… they said… I’m gonna… be… fine.”

“Yeah you will.” Harry teases, trying to get her to smile.

Oops. Not too much though. That seems to hurt.

“Lou wants to talk to you.” 

“Skype?’

“Yeah.”

“Sure.”

Harry gets up and stalks across the room to grab Gemma’s laptop from the table on the other side of the bed. He hands it to her and she rolls her eyes.

“I could… have… grabbed… that.”

“Sure you could.” He says with a smile, getting in her space and generally being rather a nuisance.

“What… I’m gonna… do to… you… when… this…is through.” She says, but she’s smiling and Harry takes that as a win.

Gemma pats the space beside him and Harry clambers up onto the bed, careful not to jostle any of her limbs. He lies down next to her and kisses her cheek.

“I missed you.” He says.

“I missed… you… too… dimwit.” 

Gemma opens her laptop and logs on. She opens the Skype app and scrolls through her contacts. When she reaches Louis’ name, she hesitates, fingers hovering above the keypad.

“What?”

“Does… he… know… how… I…I look?”

“Probably not.” Harry says quietly.

“You… didn’t… know it… was this… bad.” She states.

“No.”

Harry hides his face in the space between her head and shoulder.

“H.”

“It’s okay.”

“Okay.”

Gemma presses Louis’ name and they wait while it connects the two computers.

“My two favorite people!” Louis exclaims, when his face is finally clear.

“Bet you say that to all the girls.” Harry says with a laugh.

“Well…” Louis grins back at him.

Then he notices Gemma.

“Gems…”

“I know… it’s… bad.”

“I didn’t realize.”

“Neither did I.” Harry is quick to add.

“I’m really glad Harry could go there to you.”

“Me… too.”

Harry doesn’t catch the wistful look that Louis sends his way, but Gemma does.

“Lou?” She asks.

“Wish I could be there too, is all.”

“You will be. Your flight’s tonight right?” Harry asks.

“Well tomorrow night for me.” Louis explains.

“That’s… soon.”

“Yeah.” Louis seems to relax, snuggling into the blanket around his shoulders.

“So how’s the hospital treating my lady?” Louis teases.

“As soon… as I… get… out of… here… I am… kicking… both of… your… a-arses.”

“Why what’d Hazza do?”

“Teasing… me and I… can’t… tease… back… I’m… just so… so… tired.” She explains.

Louis seems to somber up a bit more at that. Harry feels himself do the same.

“I’m sorry Gems.” Harry whispers.

Gemma grins. “Gotcha!”

“You little!” Harry says turning to her and realizing he can’t actually do anything to her without hurting her.

“I’ll kick your arse back so hard!” Louis says loudly.

“You… wouldn’t… kick… ‘your… lady’ w-would… you?”

“You bet I would. Swear it.” Louis says solemnly, placing his hand over his heart.

They all burst into giggles at that.

They talk for hours. The three of them. Just like old times. And maybe it takes Gemma a little longer to get her words out, but maybe the two of them don’t really mind. And they might tease her about it anyways.

Anne comes in in the early afternoon. Bustling in, looking full of energy. She smiles at them on the bed and and peeps over to say hi to Louis. 

“Can’t wait till you’re here, love.” She says smiling. 

“Me neither.” Louis replies.

They finally hang up because Louis needs to sleep and Anne spends quite a bit of time scolding him for staying up so late. Especially when he has a flight the next day. He protests that it’s not till the evening, but she won’t have any of it. They say goodbye, and maybe Louis and Harry are staring at each other as the screen goes dark.

…

Louis stares at the blank screen, sad that their faces are no longer in his living room. They just vanished. Vanished from his life. Okay, so he’s dramatic. Not yet able to fall asleep, he decides to try to Skype Lottie. She’s online. He presses her name and hums as the screen comes to life.

“Louis!” She says happily. “What time is it there?” She narrows her eyes and peers closer at the screen.

“Late.” Louis says through a yawn.

She glares at him for all of two seconds before shrugging.

“Okay.” She says. “So what’s up?"

“Can’t a guy just call his sister, just to call his sister? Who’s saying I’ve got ulterior motives?”

“I am.”

“Fine.” Louis sighs, flipping across the bed and lying on his stomach.

He drags the computer back in front of his face and rubs at his eyes.

“I just… I just miss Harry okay? I mean I know I told him to go and stuff and honestly I would have been pissed at him if he didn’t go, because it’s his sister. But I still am just sitting here alone, i-in his house, and I miss him.”

“Lou… it’s okay to miss him.”

“I know. I just feel selfish. Because I just want him to myself.”

“That is proper selfish.” Lottie says, nodding thoughtfully.

Louis groans.

“Why did I think calling you would be helpful?”

“Because you love me.”

“Go on.”

“It’s selfish, but maybe it’s okay. As long as you don’t act on it. It would be real selfish if you had begged him to stay.”

“I almost did that.”

“You say that, but I don’t think you would have let him stay. You knew how important this was. That’s what makes it not so selfish, because you did the right thing. Even if you wanted to do the wrong thing, you didn’t. And it’s perfectly okay to have those thoughts, but the kind of person you are is valued on your actions.”

“How did I wind up with such a wise little sister?”

Lottie rolls her eyes.

“So did I help?”

“You did.”

“Alright go to bed.”

“I love you lots, Lots.” Louis says with a laugh.

“Love you too, Lou.” She says, rolling her eyes.

Louis rolls over in his bed after hanging up. He’s got to sleep, he knows that. But he’s just not quite ready to. He’s got something on his mind, but he isn’t sure what it is. Oh.

He grabs his phone from the night stand and shoots out a quick text.

Louis: can u call me shhh

He stares at the phone, begging for a reply. And he gets one. A couple minutes later, his phone rings.

“Lou?” Harry asks, concern evident in his voice, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing. I just thought we should talk.”

“Nothing?”

“I miss you and all that yeah. But nothing else is wrong.”

“Okay what do you think we should talk about?”

Louis tries to ignore the pain in his chest when Harry doesn’t say he misses him back.

“Oh, and I miss you too.”

The pain goes away as quickly as it arrived.

“Have you told your family about the… uhh… what do we even call it? Fake dating stunt?”

“I don’t like the term ‘stunt’, I just associate something bad with that.”

“Okay, then what?”

“Maybe just our coming out.”

“Oh. Yeah that’s good.”

“No I haven’t told them yet. Do you… do you want me too?”

“Are you nervous?”

“A little.” Harry admits quietly.

“We can do it together then, because I’m fucking nervous too.”

“Good.” Harry breathes.

They chat idly for a couple more minutes before Louis falls asleep, phone still clutched to his ear and not a thought for the poor boy on the other end of the line, calling his name.

Eventually, Harry must have hung up, because Louis’ phone isn’t dead in the morning. And the call is obviously, ended.

Louis gets through the day, barely. Relief bubbling up in his chest when he gets a call during his pap walk with Danielle later that day. There’s nothing in his contract that says he can’t answer it. He smiles cheekily at Dani who rolls her eyes as he answer the call.

“Louis?”

“What’s up, man?” Louis replies.

“It’s Jeff.”

“Yeah I got that. I’m just on a… pap walk.”

“Oh… last one ehh??”

“Hell yeah.”

“Alright so slight change of plans.”

“Uh-oh.”

“You’ll love this.” Jeff says with a laugh.

“Oh, then good?”

“Harry’s going to pick you up from the airport.”

“YES!” Louis practically screams, lowering his eyes at the curious gazes that follow him.

He can practically feel the air move as Danielle’s eyes roll back into her head.

“Also, the dates we set up are likely to change. We don’t think we took into account how much time this might take. And we’ve made some adjustments to the timeline. We’ll set up a phone call with the two of you after you are in London.”

“Yeah that sounds good.” Louis says, and he can’t really hide his smile.

When Jeff hangs up, Louis picks Danielle’s hand back up, swinging their arms back and forth happily.

“What’s up with you…?” She asks, giving him a once-over.

“Last time I have to do this!” Louis says, still grinning.

She just rolls her eyes and lets him swing their arms.

Arriving back at the house later that afternoon, Louis reads the extensive list of directions Harry left about how he wants the house to be while they are gone. Louis has decided to ignore the majority of it. Doesn’t Harry have people for that?

He packs up everything that he brought over to the U.S. into his bags and gets to the airport 5 hours early. Oh well. Maybe he’s a tad bit excited. He’s supposed to be seen going into the airport though, so he’s got the driver with him. And the driver might be a tad fed up with his carefree attitude at the moment.

5 hours later, he exits the car and strides up to the front of the airport, followed closely by airport security. He does his best to seem morose and confused, trying to keep up with the old team’s image before remembering that he doesn’t give a fuck, and it technically doesn’t matter anymore. So he grins the rest of the way in, oh well, they can choose what pictures they want. He really isn’t sure what the old team’s plan was. Is this his denial walk? He doesn’t care. They’ll do what they do to get out of trouble. And they’ll step in it anyways when the new team drags their name through the mud. Louis is really fucking happy.

He’s happy the whole flight over, and can’t convince himself to close his eyes, but eventually he must drift off, because he’s shaken awake by some turbulence some time later. He checks his phone, smiling at the messages from Harry and opens his twitter. He searches for the description of his interaction with the fans a couple days ago, and laughs in glee at the word for word presentation of his words to the second girl.

The ‘Larries’ seem to be having the time of their lives. Well, so do the ‘Antis’ but Louis has never really cared for them, they seem way too unsupportive. The Larries seem like they don’t care too much whether he and Harry are actually together as long as they are happy, whereas the Antis just spend all their time trying to convince people that there’s no way in hell that he and Harry could be together. And well, they’re wrong. There was a time when those Larries felt like all they had. When the whole world was against them and it was just the two of them, in it together.

Eventually they were just too confused and it was too hard and they couldn’t handle it anymore. But most people don’t know that. And they mostly likely never will. Because they are just going to be fed some more lies. But Louis can’t find it in himself to care too much, because he’s going to be doing it all with Harry. And really what could be better than that?

He exits the plane hastily, stopping for as few autographs as he can manage without seeming rude. He rushes towards baggage claim, knowing that Harry is supposed to wait in the car. He wanted him to come in so he could run and leap into his arms like the time they were first put together as a band. But the new team wants to start things slow, and really it's understandable, don’t need anybody having a heart attack over the situation.

Louis hoists his bags on his arms and tries to walk slowly outside. He’s supposed to garner attention, they’re relying on fans recording him getting into a car with Harry. He waves to a few people giving him curious looks, trudging on through the crowds. When he reaches the front door and glimpses Harry’s silver Honda, he practically cries with relief. Instead, he slowly approaches the car, smiling at Harry’s reflection in the mirrors.

At least he’s not the only one that looks like they are about to shit themselves from excitement. He tosses his bags into the back seat, not really caring if they get squashed, he doesn’t think there’s anything breakable in them. He reaches forward and glances around slowly as his hand grasps the car door. Good, there are several camera phones held up around the lot, hopefully somebody will get Harry’s head in the picture and then somebody else will figure it out. This could be the start of something great. Here’s hoping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love comments, they inspire me to keep writing.
> 
> If you want to see more of this story, please leave encouragement!
> 
> Thank you<3


	6. The Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you guys :))
> 
> So I got stuck the past couple days and couldn't get myself to write anything that I needed/wanted to write.
> 
> Today though, I just got on a roll and spun this out super quickly. I'll probably even keep writing some more, see how much I can get done today, but this felt like the end of the chapter.
> 
> I hope you enjoy and please comment and let me know what you think <3

Harry watches as Louis leaps into the car, grinning back at the older lad as he taps his fingers against the steering wheel. They aren’t supposed to physically interact while the cameras still have them in focus and it takes all Harry has to not just jump across the seat and slam into his best friend. Once Louis is safely in his seat, Harry pulls away from the curb slowly, letting the fans get video of them driving away.

“I missed you so fucking much.” Louis mumbles into his hand, face turned away from Harry and towards the window.

“Lou, I missed you so fucking much too.” Harry says back, unable to stop smiling as he pulls into traffic. “It’s taking all I’ve got to not just crash this car so I can hug you.”

“What’s stopping you?” Louis teases.

“Don’t think my mum could handle both of her children getting in major car accidents within the same week.”

“Haz… I…”

“Shit, no I didn’t mean to make you feel badly or anything, it was a joke, kind of. Shit.”

Louis just laughs at him, the big help he is and Harry groans, shuffling around in his seat. He drives them straight to the hospital, hardly even stopping for the red lights. (He only runs two, swear on it.) He pulls into the parking garage and yanks the car to a stop, reaching over to Louis at the same time. He pulls the other lad over the console and into this lap, arms pulling him close to his chest.

“Missed you. So. Fucking. Much.” Harry breathes into Louis’ neck.

“Normally I’d tease you about this… except I feel the same way.” Louis groans back, hiding his face with his hands.

Harry laughs and pulls his hands off his eyes.

“Ready to go see Gems?”

“Not sure. Is it like…”

“She’s going to be fine, just remember that. That she’s going to be fine.”

“She’s going to be fine.” Louis repeats.

They struggle to get themselves out of the car, tripping over each other and giggling like the five year olds that they are. Harry holds tight to Louis as they make their way up to Gemma’s floor. He doesn’t let go of his best mate’s hand once the entire trip up in the elevator, ignoring the stares from their fellow visitors. He introduces Louis to the nurse at the front desk and leads him down the hall to his sister’s room.

“You two are so cute!”, a passing nurse tells them.

Harry still doesn’t let go of Louis’ hand.

“Thank you!”, they chorus back at her, hiding their grins in their palms.

They practically skip down the hall and Harry has to yank Louis to a stop once they reach the door. He ends up pulling the older lad right up to his chest, both of them standing perpendicular to the door. He breathes in deep, eyes searching Louis’, his other hand back on the doorknob.

“Okay?”, he asks softly, breathlessly.

Being around Louis seems to do that to him. Leave him breathless that is.

Louis nods and he lets out a shuddering breath, and Harry rips his gaze away from Louis’ face. It’s difficult. He opens the door as quietly as possible, holding tight to Louis’ hand as he pulls him into the room. His mum is sitting against the far wall, knitting with the sunlight pouring in through the window above her head. Harry thinks that she looks beautiful. She looks up when the door opens, eyes widening and a smile spreading across her face when she sees the two of them.

“My boys!” She crows, discarding her knitting to the floor and jumping up.

She races across the room, stopping to throw a glance Gemma’s way, the latter appearing to be asleep. She scoops Louis into her arms, holding him tight and whispering into his ear. Harry can just make out her words.

“I love you my little boobear,” she says, making Louis laugh. “I missed you so much you have no idea, we’ve all been worried sick about you over here,” she squeezes him even closer, “I’m so glad that you’re doing okay, you are doing okay right?” She pulls back and looks over his face, gaze searching like only a mother’s can.

“I am.” Louis says with a soft smile.

“Thank goodness,” she says, sounding relieved. “And thank you for sending Harry out here, I know that must have been hard for you, but his sister really… she needed him.”

Louis turns towards Harry and Harry’s breath catches in his throat. The look Louis is giving him, just proves how much he loves this family and Harry can’t breathe.

“I love you too, Lou,” he whispers childishly and reaches forward for a hug.

Louis falls into his arms, with Anne laughing behind her hand at them. Louis just wraps his arms around Harry’s waist and noses his way up under Harry’s ear, jutting his chin out over his shoulder.

“You guys… are… adorable,” a sarcastic sounding voice comes from the other end of the room.

Anne laughs again as Louis and Harry reluctantly pull apart. Harry just smiles as Louis skips over to the bed. He watches as the older lad hesitates, not sure how to touch Gemma, before she growls at him to just hug her already. Louis leans down and hugs her gently and Harry really can’t keep a smile off of his face.

“You know that’s what the nurse lady said,” Louis replies with a wink causing him and Harry to erupt into giggles.

“Did… she now…” Gemma says, rolling her eyes.

“What?” Harry whines, moving forward as Louis sits down in the chair beside the bed, holding his arms out for Harry.

Harry crosses the short distance and lowers himself sideways into his best mate’s lap, wrapping an arm around his neck and resting his other palm on the lad’s chest.

“You’re… kidding.” Gemma says.

“I don’t think they are, love,” Anne replies with a chuckle.

Gemma groans and turns back to face them.

“Do you… see… yourselves?” she asks.

“Yes.” Louis and Harry say back in unison, glancing at each other and smiling.

“You two are even more tactile than the last time you were here, and that’s really saying something.” Anne chimes in.

Harry blushes and Louis reaches up a hand to brush over his cheek.

“We just missed each other.” Louis says, rubbing at the place where Harry’s dimple lives until it suddenly makes an appearance.

“And why… do… you think… you… miss… each other… so much?” Gemma asks them slowly.

Harry frowns down at Louis, seeing a similar look on his face. He reaches up the hand that had slipped down on the lad’s stomach and rubs between the Louis’ eyebrows, erasing the lines.

“Because we are best mates,” Harry says.

Anne chuckles again and moves back to her seat by the window.

“It’s no use, love,” she says to Gemma.

Gemma groans and leans her head back.

“Do you… miss Liam… and… Niall and… Zayn as… much as you… missed… each other?”

“No.”, they answer immediately.

“And why… do you… think… that is?”

“We’re different.” Louis replies stubbornly, hand rubbing soothing circles into Harry’s back.

Gemma just groans again and shakes her head slightly, rolling her eyes at her mother. Harry gazes down at Louis to find him already looking up at him. They frown at each other for a moment before bursting into giggles.

“I missed you so fucking much,” Harry leans down to whisper into Louis’ ear. 

He doesn’t notice how the older boy shivers at his touch.

A knock on the door startles them away from each other. I mean, not far, Harry is still sitting in Louis’ lap.

“I’ll be right back.” Anne says, jumping up and heading to the door.

“Mum?” Harry questions, just as the door closes tightly behind her. “Is everything okay?” He asks, turning to his sister.

“Yes.” Gemma says, a mischievous glint in her eye.

“S’going on then?” Louis asks, gaze fixed on the door.

“I’m not… going to… fucking… tell… you.” Gemma replies with a laugh.

It sounds painful.

Anne comes back into the room then, Robin close on her heels. Louis pushes Harry off his lap and clambers his way over to his boy’s stepfather.

“Robin!”, he exclaims, throwing his arms over his shoulders.

“Louis, my boy!” Robin says back, sounding just as excited. “How’re you holding up?” he asks seriously when they pull back, a hand still firmly grasping Louis’ shoulder.

“I’m good. I’m good.” Louis smiles back, gaze searching the room for Harry and smile widening when he sees the lad hovering over his sister’s hospital bed. “I’m doing swell,” he whispers, almost to himself.

“All thanks to Harry, eh?” Robin asks with a knowing grin and an elbowing from Anne.

“Yeah.” Louis replies, sounding distracted.

He is, he’s too busy staring at Harry. The door opens again and his gaze flicks back in that direction. Lottie and her boyfriend, Tommy walk into the room then. A huge grin lights up on Louis’ face and he crosses the room slowly to his sister. He smiles at her and then lifts her up, spinning her around in a circle.

“Lots!” he practically squeals.

“Hi Louis.” Lottie says back, smiling just as wide.

Meanwhile, Harry has stood up and walked over to Tommy. They do that bro hug thing that Louis is still trying to get figured out.

“You being good to her?” Louis hears Harry ask seriously.

He and Lottie laugh behind their hands. Protective older brother Harry is the cutest thing, they both agree.

“Yes sir.” Tommy replies and Harry grins back, showing his dimples in full.

Harry walks over and gives Lottie a squeeze next.

“I was hoping you would come by, us being in London and all,” Harry teases.

“And to see Gems.” Lottie says solemnly, pulling away slowly.

She walks over to the edge of the bed, smiling down at her friend.

“Hey Gems.” She says sadly, reaching forward and hugging her gently.

“Hey Lots.” Gemma replies.

They start chatting immediately, Lottie pulling up the chair and Louis turns his attention back to Harry. Harry walks over and slings an arm around Louis’ shoulders.

“Shall we interrogate him now, do you think?” he asks, smirking over at Tommy in the corner.

“We do that every time we see him.” Louis replies, pulling Harry closer by the waist and stroking his side.

“True.”

The door opens again and Fizzy walks through, followed closely behind by Phoebe and then Daisy.

“Oh!” Lottie exclaims, “Look who we brought with us!”

They rush over to hug Louis and Harry first, mouths flying with words of how they’ve missed the two of them so. Fizzy slings her arm around Louis and whispers in his ear while Daisy clings to his front. Phoebe is talking softly with Harry who proceeds to lead her over to Gemma. Louis is honestly having trouble keeping track of everyone.

He replies that no, he did not bring anything back with him from L.A. for the girls, to Fizzy and she slinks away. (It’s a lie, he did, it’s just a surprise.) He holds Daisy close and laughs with her over the most recent pap pictures.

“You looked miserable in them, Lou. Downright miserable.” she says.

“Well, they never said I had to look happy!” Louis jokes and they throw themselves into a fit of giggles.

He’s so occupied by his four oldest sisters that he doesn’t even hear the door open.

“Hey Louis.” he hears his mum whisper in his ear, and no it can’t be!

He looks up and there’s his mum, holding Ernest in her arms, a huge smile spread across her face.

“Mum!” He says laughing, “I thought I was having hallucinations!”

He reaches forward and wraps the two of them in a tight embrace, leaning back and taking Ernie out of her arms. He kisses her on the cheek as he pulls away.

“How’s my little lad?” Louis questions the toddler who just grins back at him.

“Hawwy!” Another little voice pipes up from across the room.

Louis looks up to see his stepfather Dan, handing off his youngest sister, Doris to Harry’s open arms.

“Dottie!” He squeals back at her, holding her close to his chest.

She starts off into one of her rants that Louis can never seem to keep up with and Harry just nods along as if it’s English that she’s speaking. Louis reaches out to hug Dan and smiles at Ernie who has started to play with the collar of his jumper.

“Lad?”

“Louwie!” Ernie replies and Louis grins back at him.

He seems distracted enough with his jumper, so Louis turns to his mum and Anne.

“Isn’t this a fire hazard? So many people.” he laughs.

“We got permission, don’t you fret!” Anne says, waving her finger in his face.

“Did you.” He says, turning back around to face the room. 

Fizzy, Lottie and the older twins are all curled up around Gemma, talking to her about anything and everything, Louis assumes. Hey! He doesn’t pretend to know what girls go on about. Dan has an arm around Tommy’s shoulders as the two of them converse with Robin, probably doing the intimidating that Harry so desperately wanted to be a part of. His mum and Anne are gossiping just to his left and he lets his gaze fix on what it wants to fix on. 

Harry. He’s leaning up against the wall by the door, holding Doris in his arms. She’s still going on about something or other and he’s got all his attention focused just on her. It’s precious. Okay, so maybe not all his attention, as he turns and catches Louis’ gaze. Louis smiles back at him and Harry tips his head wordlessly towards the door. Louis nods.

“Mum? Harry and I are going to take a walk with the twins.” Louis says to her, interrupting whatever conversation she had going on.

“Okay love. Text me if you’re going to be long.” She replies, kissing his cheek.

He smiles at her and move through the room, aware of all the extra bodies and trying not to bump into anyone. Harry is holding the door open for him and he slides through, holding Ernie’s head to his chest. Finally they are standing outside the room, and it’s a whole lot quieter than it was inside. Louis is surprised they haven’t gotten complaints, from having woken up the entire hospital. He and Harry switch toddlers efficiently without saying a word, and set off down the hall.

“Dottie!” Louis says, nosing at her hair.

“Louwee!” She exclaims back. “I mwissed you.” She says and Louis’ heart drops just a tad.

“I missed you too, love.”

He really has. That’s what this break is supposed to be about, spending time with the family. And he’s finally going to get to be doing that. He knows his sisters don’t quite understand as it’s been announced publicly that their break began last December, only it didn’t. Not for him, it didn’t. And technically it hasn’t for Harry either, or even Liam for that matter. They are still controlled by their fucked up management, having to follow along with their whims and ideas.

They are finally supposed to be completely free from their contract as of tomorrow. He thought it was the first of March, they all had. Only it’s a couple days after that. Contractual obligations and such. But he’s so fucking excited and the very first thing he was planning on doing was celebrating with his family. That includes Harry and his sister and mum and stepdad of course. And now it seems that he gets to do that even sooner than he had hoped!

They were originally going to visit Gemma and Lottie in London, and then take the two of them home to Holmes Chapel and then to Doncaster. They hadn’t actually discussed new plans, since the accident, but Louis was assuming they would carry on almost the same. Stay in London for a little while, and then bypass Holmes Chapel and go straight to visit the kids. But now everybody is in London and they don’t have to leave anybody anywhere for a moment. Louis is all kind of excited.

“This is so bloody brilliant.” he exclaims to Harry, who is ardently listening to Ernie talk his ear off.

No wonder the twins like talking to Harry more, Louis forgets to really listen to them.

“It is.” Harry replies softly, eyes twinkling.

Louis turns his attention back to the toddler in his arms.

“So. How’s has my little angel been doing?” He asks, and silently applauds himself when she starts giggling.

“I’ve been gwood,” she drawls out, her words still just forming. “And you?”

“Such a polite little lady aren’t you?” He teases, poking at her belly.

She giggles and bends over. (“Stwaup Lou!”) He just tickles her harder until he finally takes pity on her, slinging her legs back around his waist and holding her tight.

“I’ve been good too,” he replies and she looks up in confusion.

Oh right, attention span of a two year old. Not very big.

“Never mind,” he says and she giggles.

“Are these your children then?”, he hears a voice ask and he looks up to find Harry talking to the nurse that approached them earlier.

He smirks at Harry’s upturned mouth and moves closer.

“No these are Lou’s brother and sister actually.” Harry explains in his slow way, letting the words flow off of one another.

“And Lou is?” she asks with a knowing grin.

You don’t know much lady, he thinks to himself.

“My best mate, ‘ere.” Harry replies, reaching an arm out to wrap around Louis’ shoulders.

The nurse blanches and Louis has to hide a grin. She covers up her floundering pretty well, turning to the babies and asking them their names.

“Ernie.” Ernie replies with a shy smile.

“Me!” Doris, calls, and the nurse turns to face her, “I’m Doris.”

“Well hi there, little ones,” she says smiling at them.

“Now if your big brother and his best mate” she says with a fake cough, “say it’s okay, I might have some candy behind the desk.”

Louis grins and turns to Harry.

“Sure.” Harry replies.

As she hands a lollipop over to each of the twins, Louis turns to the nurse.

“Don’t believe us, eh?”

“Not quite.” She says with a smirk.

“And why might that be?”

“Well, for one I know who you guys are, my sister is a fan,” she replies.

“Oh, heard the rumors then?”

“I’ve heard that maybe some people might’ve had to suppress a relationship while working in a certain band. I understand if you won’t tell me,” she says, smiling kindly.

Louis looks and her and mulls over his options. Sure she could spill, but hey maybe no one would believe her anyways? And also, the contract is almost up, so it’s not likely to cause any issues.

“You might be right,” he says and her eyes widen.

Louis glance over at Harry, setting Ernie down and watching him toddle over to where Harry and Doris are playing patty-cake.

“However, suppress isn’t the word I would use,” he mumbles, “more like extinguish?”

Her mouth falls open and then closes again, trying to grasp onto words just out of her reach.

“They made you break up?”, she finally asks in astonishment.

More like we stopped whatever it was because being told it was wrong and that we had to hide, was too much. Louis wants to say. But he doesn’t.

“Ehm. That’s all I can say really,” he adds with an apologetic smile.

“Well I know the two of you are going to work it out,” she says with finality.

“What makes you says so?” he questions, avoiding turning to Harry like he so desperately wants to.

“The way the two of you look at one another. It’s not something that everyone gets to experience, love. Be grateful that you’ve got it and hold on damn tight.” 

Louis smiles and looks over to Harry, watching the younger lad watch him over his siblings’ heads. And maybe there’s something in that look, that could mean Harry isn’t over them, but Louis isn’t too sure. Harry has gone too far away from whatever it is, Louis doesn’t know if he’ll come back again.

“Thank you,” he whispers.

“No problem, and I won’t like, tell anyone about this.”

And fuck, did Louis reveal more than he planned too? Well, it all goes well with their plan after all. He guesses maybe he didn’t fuck things up.

“Feel free to share whatever you’d like.” He says honestly, “except maybe I don’t know, like I really don’t know.”

“Alright. Well in that case, I’ll definitely be relaying a play by play for my sister.”

They laugh together and Louis moves across the small waiting room. He picks up Ernie from behind, delighting in his squeal. Harry stands up and grabs hold of Doris’ hand, bending over to walk with her out of the room.

“Harry..” Louis says, placing a hand on Harry’s back.

He looks up with wide eyes and Louis can’t help but smile back at him.

“Don’t hurt you back, love.” 

Harry rolls his eyes and pretends to sway from side to side as he walks. Louis kicks him in the ankle. Honestly, that lad. He turns around just as they enter the elevator, catching the eye of the nurse one more time. She just smirks back at him and nods her head towards Harry before turning away and shaking her head.

See the thing is, Louis doesn’t quite know what happened. He didn't ever fully understand what was going on between the two of them. He was young and he was confused. He was still dating a girl and the fact that he and Harry were quite tactile, never really crossed his mind. Until that’s what anyone and everyone was talking about. When Simon called them in and told them to tone it down, that was probably the most confusing moment of his life.

He second guessed everything that he did after that. Every time he went in to touch Harry, every glance, every smile. It all meant something more after that. He’d had to break up with his girlfriend because he felt guilty, just hanging out with his friend. He didn’t understand what the big deal was, and Harry didn't seem to either. Eventually he forgot his hesitation and relaxed back into the thing that is LouisandHarry. 

They went about their time together like they normally did, and management seemed to be putting up with them. They didn't get told off, however Louis did notice the looks that their handlers gave each other when Louis or Harry might’ve taken things a bit too far. But they never said anything. Now, Louis supposes it was like the straw that broke the camel’s back. Little things piling up on each other for so long until they couldn’t take it anymore.

It was finally apparently too much, the night they came home and got yelled at for making out in a bar. Wasn’t that was friends did? Experimented with each other? Louis had asked that, he hadn’t gotten any answers. He was just told that from then on, he and Harry were not allowed to interact in public anymore. The fans didn’t like it apparently and they were going to destroy not only their careers, but the careers of the other three boys.

It had seemed like the only option when they had signed that contract; now Louis knows that they were tricked. Fooled into believing that the higher ups knew best, for their careers and for their personal lives. Louis still hates them and will always hate them, for making the one thing he knew to be pure and true, feel like a disgrace, feel like something wrong.

They didn’t ever talk about it outside of meetings after that. He and Harry just carried on like how they were in private, and tried their best to stay away from each other in the eye’s of the public. Eventually they figured out what the big deal was. Or pretended too, for the sake of the band. Louis didn’t actually understand. Just one night Harry came to him and said that it was probably best if they toned things down a bit more in private as well, he had said that no one that knew them seemed to be interested in him, because they assumed he was taken.

Louis still doesn’t know if he was supposed to stop Harry that night, if he was supposed to tell him that it didn’t matter? All he knew was that this boy who he had become infatuated with, no longer wanted anything to do with him. Of course they couldn’t stay away from each other completely, and decided to remain best mates. Not that that’s something they really could have stopped. They remained tactile and close as ever, in some aspects, but there was a line there that wasn’t there before.

Louis doesn’t know exactly where that line is. Apparently kissing before breakfast lying in Louis’ bed was something that is okay. And then Harry sitting on his lap in the hospital room when there weren’t enough seats? Everyone seemed to give them weird looks for that. Louis has never really tried to understand is the thing. Everyone else just seems so unhappy whenever they are talking about the situation and Louis wants to remain happy thank you very much.

He hadn’t allowed himself to really think about this, in years. The nurse’s words ring in his head though, and he can’t seem to get them out. He had assumed that Harry had ended things because he was no longer interested. Was that not the case? Perhaps he simply couldn’t handle being yelled at all the time. Perhaps management really did destroy his relationship. He doesn’t know if he’s feeling happy or sad. Happy that they might still have a chance? Or pissed that it took him this long to figure things out.

He looks over at Harry’s bright smile, dimple peeking out of his cheek, as he peers into the koi pond with his little sister. He looks so happy, so free. What if, after coming out, all he wants is to be able to settle down with someone, someone that isn’t Louis? What if Louis would be ruining that vision that he has for himself, by mentioning any of his own feelings? What do his feelings even matter when it comes to Harry? They haven’t mattered at all, in years.

He can’t say anything to him. He knows this now. He just can’t. He’ll have to keep this to himself. Just like he’s kept his feelings for the other boy a secret. Buried within the depths of his heart. Because he tells himself that just getting to be around the other boy is enough. And it is. Louis isn’t a selfish person, he never has been. And he’s not damn likely to start now. This is about Harry. And Harry wanted to end their little fling. So Louis is going to respect that if it’s the damn last thing that he does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it randomly gets sad, I do not understand how this character's brain works. He's just all over the place. Which must mean that I am too. Anyways!
> 
> Just wanted to point out that I don't actually believe that this is what is happening, it's just an idea that I wanted to write about :))
> 
> Thank you for reading lovelies


	7. Not According to Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys :)
> 
> So I'm not sure what to make of this bit, it totally changed directions on me and idk if I caught up or not haha let me know what you think.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it suddenly getting dramatic lol <3

“Hazza!” Harry hears Louis call from behind him.

He turns around slowly, careful not to jostle either of the twins who are walking on either side of him. He smiles as Louis comes running down the path. He had gone to the bathroom and although it had been like 2 minutes, Harry had missed him. It was the longest they’d been apart since Harry had picked him up at the airport that morning. God, Harry is such a sap. He doesn’t really care though.

“Lou!” He calls out happily, keeping one eye on the toddlers as Louis comes flying into this arms.

He swings him around slowly, carefully making sure not to drop him on one of his siblings. Louis reaches down and hoists Dottie onto his hip and Harry just smiles at him. He hasn’t been able to stop smiling at him all day. He’s not sure why, he thinks it has to do with him missing him so bloody much. He really missed him. Like he really fucking missed him.

“I really fucking missed you,” he says aloud.

“While I was in the bathroom?” Louis asks with a laugh, throwing his head back and chortling in that beautiful way that he does.

“No dimwit, while you were in L.A.” Harry replies, but he’s still smiling at his friend.

Still smiling. Always still smiling.

“Language, Harold.” Louis scolds, a smile also on his face.

Harry knows that Louis doesn’t express his emotions quite as much as Harry does. He was actually quite surprised in the car when Louis blurted out how much he missed Harry. Surprised and happy. Lots of happiness, he felt.

“Well for the record,” Louis says with a smile, a slow blush spreading across his cheeks. “You know what? Never mind. Never you mind.”

“Oh come on Lou! Tell me, pleaseee!” Harry whines.

He turns his face towards his friend, (after checking on Ernest of course, and picking him up because his little legs were beginning to grow tired.) He sticks out his lower lip and pouts at the boy, widening his eyes dramatically.

“Fuck you, Harold.”

“Language, Lewis.”

“You know what?”

“What now?”

“I take it back anyways. No way I could’ve missed someone like you.”

“But you did miss me, you said you did.” Harry knows he’s whining.

He knows that he’s a grown adult, walking along with his friend who is also a grown adult, the two of them in charge of two toddlers; and yet he is still whining.

“Course I missed you when you came back early.” Louis admonishes, like the very idea that Harry would doubt that is insulting.

“Waaiiiitttt…” Harry says, a huge grin pulling his ginormous cheeks upwards.

“Noooooo!” Louis whines, putting his forehead to his hand.

“You missed me while you were in the bathroom!” Harry crows, leaping ahead of his best mate and sprinting along the path, Ernie clutched tight to his chest.

“Did not!” Louis yells back, and Harry hears him close behind.

He ducks off the path at the last minute, rolling to the grass and watching Louis pull up in surprise. He lets Ernie go and he runs over to his older brother.

“Lou!” He calls up to him.

“Yes bud?” Louis asks, looking around and spotting Harry lying on the ground. “You!” he accuses, raising his finger and pointing it at Harry.

He kisses his brother on the forehead and plops Doris down next to him. Then he stalks along until he’s covering Harry’s long lean body with his shadow. He places his hands on his hip, and Harry can tell he’s trying hard not to laugh. Harry rolls his head back, laughing for him and writhing about in the grass.

“Did you drop my brother, Harold?” Louis demands.

Harry just cackles harder at that.

“No!” he cries breathlessly. “I dropped meself,” he giggles, throwing Louis’ accent in his face for good measure.

Louis looks around and spots the twins curled up on the grass together, weaving flowers together with their chubby little hands. He looks back at the adult child in front of him and pounces.

“You!” He cries out again, plopping down on the younger’s man stomach. 

Harry watches as Louis reaches out and pins his arms to the ground. He wriggles away from him, laughing his head off and picks up his knee to tickle Louis’ side. It works, the older lad releases his grip on Harry’s wrists for a moment and Harry jumps up, flipping them over and landing on top of Louis. He smiles sweetly down at Louis until he is finally laughing back with him, then he pins Louis own arms down, lowering his face to his ear.

“Did you drop youself?” he asks, giggling, letting a puff of air float into Louis’ ear.

Louis’ laughter fades away and he looks up into Harry’s eyes. Harry hears the laughter stop and peers down curiously at his friend. He’s suddenly very aware of their close proximity. Very aware. Louis’ gaze flickers to his lips and he sucks in a breath. His eyes narrow down on Louis’ own very pink lips and he leans forward almost without realizing it.

“Are you gwoing to kwiss?” A small voice asks from beside his head and Harry wants to groan.

He does actually. He groans. Out loud. Because he was interrupted while about to kiss his best mate. Harry should be thankful honestly, little Doris just saved them a lot of problems. And a conversation. A conversation would most certainly entail, and Harry doesn’t think he’s ready for that particular conversation. Nope, no way.

“Yes.” Louis says earnestly and he leans up and presses a chaste kiss against Harry’s lips.

Well that’s one way of making sure they don’t have to talk about anything.

“Mummy says you two are adworable.” Doris informs them.

She is squatting down, her bum almost touching the floor, with her head twisted around so she can look at them properly. Louis giggles and reaches out to poke her in the stomach. He can’t of course, because Harry’s still got him pinned to the ground. He let’s go. Then he rolls off his best mate and stares at the sky. Well, since he doesn’t want to have this awkward conversation, he might as well bring up another.

“So… since all of our family is like right here, should we go ahead and tell them?” Harry inquires.

He turns his head just as Louis does and their faces are really quite close together again. Harry thinks that god must hate him. He sits up and a moment later, so does Louis.

“Tell them what?” Louis asks, and he looks anxious.

Harry looks back at him incredulously.

“About the coming out plan,” he whispers.

“Oh.” Louis says, glancing back at the babies. “Like… what are we going to say exactly?”

“I don’t know. I thought we’d talk about that.”

“Okay, so like, you bring up the meeting.”

“Yeah and then they ask us what happened.” Harry adds.

“Mhm and then I’ll say, no you should say it. Anyways say that they came up with a plan.”

“No you should say that bit.”

“If you want.”

“I want.” Harry says seriously, peering into his best mates eyes.

Louis cracks up then and falls back onto the grass.

“What?” Harry whines.

“Come on. We are over thinking it and making ourselves nervous. Let’s just go tell them.”

“You… you sure?”

“Hell yeah I’m sure.”

They pick up the toddlers and practically sprint back to the hospital, not seeming to notice the girls hiding in the trees.

Once they reach Gemma’s floor, the two of them slow down a bit.

“Are you still sure?” Harry questions nervously, moving closer to Louis automatically.

“No,” Louis admits, reaching out a hand to steady himself on Harry’s arm.

“They aren’t going to like it, are they.” It’s not a question, Harry is convinced.

And now he’s terrified.

“I’m scared, Lou.”

Louis places Ernest on the ground and steps closer to Harry. He places his hands on his shoulders and waits for him to look up. Harry does and Louis is staring at him with a determined expression on his face. That is reassuring. Of course, he also looks like he might piss himself and that is decidedly less reassuring.

“Lottie already knows.”

“She does?”

“Yeah, I called her after the meeting.”

“How’d… how’d she react?” Harry asks, avoiding Louis’ gaze.

Louis reaches up and pulls Harry’s chin back to front and center.

“At first she was pissed.”

“Oh god.” Harry feels himself falling.

“And then, wait Haz, it’s okay, she actually convinced me to do it like, I mean she helped at least. She’s for it.”

“She is?”

“Yup.” Louis says, nodding his head quickly. “Okay, let’s go before I start freaking out too. Nope wait too late. Oh god, they are going to be so pissed.”

“Lou!”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Let’s just… get it over with.”

They turn and Louis grabs a hold of Ernest’s hand as they race down the hallway. They get to the door and open it with a big whoosh, startling the family inside.

“Way to make an entrance boys.” Lottie calls out, and Harry’s heart flips.

“I’m sure… that… wasn’t… the… plan.” Gemma says condescendingly.

Harry rolls his eyes and steps further into the room. He holds out Doris and Tommy is the first person that he sees.

“Here.” He says.

Tommy looks confused, but reaches out to grab her all the same. Ernest toddles over to his mum’s legs and she hoists him into her lap. The mums are still sat against the far wall beneath the window, Dan having now joined them. Robin and Tommy are by the door, and they had looked to be in an intense discussion before the two of them had interrupted. Daisy is lying at the foot of Gemma’s bed, her phone held up above her head as she takes silly pictures for Instagram probably. Phoebe is sitting on Lottie’s lap in the last chair, with Fizzy kneeling beside them.

They’re all here. And they can do this. They can. They have to. Like actually they have to at some point otherwise they are just going to find out about it anyways and they are likely to be less angry if they get some fair warning.

“Actually Lou and I have something we’d like to talk to you all about.” Harry says, stepping further into the room and letting the door swing shut behind him.

He follows Louis across the room and they lean up against the wall beside their mums. Speaking of their mums… they look beyond excited. Shit. They look like the answer to all their prayers are finally about to be answered. How the fuck did Harry give them that impression? All he said was that they wanted to talk.

“You do, do you?” Anne teases, a glimmer of hope in her eye.

“It’s…” Harry falters, hearing her words, he knows what they want this to be.

They want it to be Harry and Louis finally admitting to being in love with each other and getting together so they can live happily ever after. That’s what everyone wants. He looks around the room and grimaces. Besides their mums, Robin has got on a semi hopeful expression. Dan just looks a bit confused, he hasn’t had time to fully experience that which is LouisandHarry. Tommy looks like he thinks he shouldn’t be here. Which he probably shouldn’t. But oh well. Daisy is sitting rod straight, hands holding her phone up. Shit is she recording this? She can’t be recording them as they explain the plan.

Phoebe is squeezing Lottie’s arm tight and Lottie looks downright pissed as she stares around the room at her family’s expressions.. Fuck. He’ll let Louis deal with that. Fizzy is holding Gemma’s hand and doesn’t look like she is breathing. And Gems. Gems. Gems is the reason Harry truly thinks over what he is about to do. She looks so hopefully cautious, like part of her wants to scream out that she told them the fuck so, and the other part is ready to shrink back into herself if this isn’t what she thinks this is.

She is literally in a hospital bed, she literally almost died. He almost lost her forever. He can’t disappoint her. He can’t disappoint himself, he thinks. But fuck that, they agreed to be just friends and Harry doesn’t want to mess that up! But what if their whole families were to die without ever knowing the truth about his feelings for Louis? What if Louis were to die without knowing the truth? They’ve all been right this whole damn time, just Harry had refused to let himself even think about it, because they had agreed!

And just fuck. How is he supposed to disappoint Gems like that? How is he supposed to disappoint his mum like that?? He doesn’t know what he’s doing as he turns to Louis with a reassuring smile on his face. Louis looks back at him cautiously, like he’s about to make them jump to their deaths. Which, I mean, he basically is. He has to tell them what they want. Even if it’s a lie.

No, he should just tell them the truth. The truth is always the best option, like no mater what. That’s a thing right? Harry thinks that it is. He has to tell the truth. It doesn’t matter that they want them to be together. The thing is that they aren’t. He wants them to be, yes. But they aren’t. Maybe he should do something about that some other time, but right now he just needs to explain the coming out plan. The plan. Fuck.

“Louwie kissed Hawwy.” Doris pipes up from where she is being held tightly by Tommy.

Fuck.

Harry looks over immediately to Louis, catching his frantic gaze. He reaches out a hand to reassure Harry and no that isn’t going to help their case. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He latches onto the hand anyways.

His mum leaps into the air and runs over to them, throwing her arms around the two of them tightly. She squeezes them close and Harry can see tears running down her face. Oh god. Lord help them please. He wasn’t ever actually going to lie, he doesn’t deserve this! That’s a lie. Shit, he just lied to God. 

Jay runs over then and sticks her head over Anne’s shoulder making the latter burst out laughing.

“Fancy being outed by a two year old?” She giggles, waggling her eyebrows.

Daisy is jumping on the bed, holding her phone high above her head and Lottie is scolding her to get down. Gemma is squealing and then coughing in turn, bouncing excitedly on the bed. Fizzy looks like she’s got her head off in some other world, whispering with Phoebe, probably about wedding plans. They can’t do this! People will expect them to get married, because they’ve been meant to be together or whatever forever. Tommy is still staring down at Doris in shock, Harry can just make out him saying, “Look what you’ve done,” as he kisses her forehead.

Doris just giggles. Of course she does. And Harry can’t be mad at a two year old. She didn’t know! Hell, he hadn’t meant to get into that… position with Louis. This should have never been an issue. It’s not like they kiss on the reg! Two times max, in like three or four years. That’s not very many times.

The door bursts open then and it’s their nurse. The one Louis had been chatting to for ages. She looks around the room in shock before pulling herself together.

“You all are quite loud.” She informs the room.

They all just burst into laughter and start trying to explain to her, all at once.

“Hold up! One at a time.” She says, with a glint in her eye.

Jay rushes up to the nurse, but Lottie reaches out an arm to stop her.

“Wait! Let them say it.” Lottie says, narrowing her eyes at the two of them. She looks like she is judging the fuck out of them. 

Harry doesn’t blame her. He know she knows the truth. And she must’ve been able to tell that Harry was going to lie. He glances to his right to see Louis, who has still got a stinging grip on his hand. Louis is looking right at Lottie, with a pleading look that Harry knows he wouldn’t be able to say no to. Apparently Lottie says no. Louis turns back to Harry with that same look. Harry has to fix this.

“It’s… It’s actually that Lou and I-“

“Are together!” Louis chimes in.

Fuck.

As Harry stares at Louis in astonishment, he can hear the room erupting around them. The nurse crosses the room and hugs Louis, a knowing smirk on her face, whispering in his ear. He just continues to stare at his boy, who is quite literally now, his boy. He was going to come clean, he actually was. Harry’s swears it, on his life. Louis is still looking at him with that same, pleading look and with a sigh Harry turns back to the rest of the room. Everyone turns to stare at him with bated breath.

Why the fuck does he have to confirm it to? Do they just want to make sure they get them to lie as much as humanly possible about the situation? Lottie’s arms are crossed and if looks could kill… Harry wishes that looks could kill. That would solve a lot of problems right now. Like, their families could think that at least they died happily. Unfortunately Harry is still standing in a room full of hopeful family members, all waiting for his say on the matter. Here goes nothing. Fuck that, here goes something.

“That’s right!” He says and watches as his family jumps around hugging each other, a couple nurses thrown into the mix and god there are too many people in this room. Entirely too many people. Harry needs to be alone.

“Wait!” Louis calls out and thank fuck, he’s going to fix this.

The entire room turns to look at him with confused expressions. Lottie is glaring in their direction. Harry opens his eyes and tries to express his panic. He thinks she gets it as she straightens up immediately and adopts a whole lot nicer face to look at. Harry looks at Louis to encourage him, he is steadfastly avoiding Harry’s gaze.

“We technically don’t get out of our contract until tomorrow, so like I’m going to need you all to sign NDA’s or something.” He starts of loudly but is murmuring by the end, their audience straining to hear him.

Harry stands straight up and rips his hand out of Louis’ grasp. He strides across the room, feeling a panic attack coming on, and slides an apologetic look in Lottie’s direction. He hears Louis racing after him, but he must’ve been stopped by his mum.

“Were you not going to tell us yet, sweetie?” Harry hears Jay ask.

Louis must’ve shook his head no, because Jay tells him to go take care of him. Harry sprints along the corridor, not sparing the nurse at the desk even a sideways glance. He hops into one of the elevators and presses the close door button hard, breathing a sigh of relief as the door slide shut, just as he hears Louis coming down the hallway. He reaches the ground floor and then the basement, and strides out towards his car. He’s almost there when he hears the dinging of the doors behind him.

Fuck.

He runs forward and taps the unlock button on his keys repeatedly, sliding into the driver’s seat and slamming the door. Now that he’s sitting in his car, he’s not actually sure what his plan was. He doesn’t feel in a right state to be driving and there’s no way he would rush off and leave Louis here anyways. He unlocks the rest of the doors just as Louis arrives and watches as the older man slides into the seat beside him, panting and red in the face. Louis looks at him with eyes full of regret and concern.

“Harry. I am so fucking sorry. That was so wrong of me. I have five million excuses but none of them are good enough. I don’t know why I did that. Fuck yes I do. Everyone was just so damn excited and I couldn’t let them down. But I shouldn't have been thinking about them, I should have been thinking about you H. I should have realized that this is exactly what you never wanted to have happen. You broke things off because you didn’t want this kind of reaction, right? You didn’t want everyone to think they were right about everything! You wanted to just live your life without the LouisandHarry title that we were given and I should have respected that—“

“Lou—“

“I mean it H, I am so fucking sorry.” Louis leans forward, sobbing into his hands. “I promise I’ll go right up there and tell them the truth. I fucking swear.”

“Lou—“

“You were done with the relationship and I should have respected that. I never have. Not the way I should have. You got over me and that’s okay, that’s perfectly okay.”

“LOUIS!” Harry shouts, reaching forward and grabbing Louis’ hands, pulling them away from his face.

Louis looks up at him with a stricken, tear streaked face and Harry’s heart breaks a little more.

“Lou. That’s not why—“

“You don’t have to lie to me, Harry!”

“I’m not lying. Listen to me, no more fucking lying.”

“I am so sorry.”

“Listen to me Lou.”    
Once Harry is sure that Louis is focused on him, he begins to speak.

“I don’t even remember half of what you said. But first things first. I am not mad at you. At all.”

Louis looks like he’s about to protest, but Harry cuts him off.

“I was going to cave and do the exact same thing you did, I was going to, even before Dottie said anything.”

“You were?” Louis looks up at him, breathing in short shallow gulps of air.

Harry places his cold fingers on where Louis’ pulse is beating fast in his wrists.

“I was.”

“Then why did you run from me?”

“I just… I freaked out! There were too many people in that room, that’s why there’s a limit you know, and I just couldn't handle it. I just wanted to get away from here. But then I realized that I wouldn’t be leaving anywhere without you anyways, so I don’t know why I came to the car.”

“I’m sorry Hazza.”

“Lou, don’t be sorry. I swear I was thinking the same things as you. I saw Gems on that bed… She almost died Louis. She almost died and I couldn’t bear to disappoint her. And then our mums looked so happy. The only reason I was able to pull myself together at the last second was Lottie’s face. She looked so damn right pissed.”

“She has reason to be. She either thinks I lied to her, or she knows that we just lied to the entire family. And either way I am a fuck up.”

“No you’re not, Lou.”

“Harry you know I am. You would’ve stopped yourself. I didn’t. That’s the difference between us two.”

“Lou, listen to me. I was on the edge, either a look at Lottie or at Gems and I could’ve swung either way. I swear I feel just as awful as you. We lied. But I did it with you, no matter what you have to say about it, I could have fixed it, but I didn’t.”

Louis starts crying again, trying to hide his face as Harry holds tights to his wrists. Harry lets up his grip on one wrist to wipe the tears away as they fall, holding the side of Louis’ face after.

“And Lou?”

Louis just nods his head, avoiding Harry’s gaze.

“That’s not why I… I didn’t break it off because of you. I didn’t even break it off. I thought that was what you wanted, for us to just be friends. Since we… we weren’t working.”

Louis starts crying harder at this and Harry pulls the same move as earlier, transferring the older man to his lap. Louis arms wrap around Harry’s shoulders and his face is hidden by his neck. Harry rubs soothing patterns into his best mate’s back. Soon enough Harry is crying to. He pulls Louis closer to him and tucks his chin over the lad’s shoulder, letting the tears fall.

“What’re we going to do?” Harry asks, through the tears.

Louis grabs hold of his shirt and fists the fabric, sobbing into Harry’s neck.

“Hey, hey, Lou. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. I don’t know what is going to happen. But it’s going to be okay. It has to be okay.”

Louis nods his head against Harry’s neck, snuffling just under his ear.

“In it together, yeah?”

Louis just nods again and presses a soft kiss to Harry’s neck. Harry takes a deep breath and tries to stop his pulse from racing.

He doesn’t understand what the fuck just happened. Did Louis admit he’s not over Harry? Or was he just saying that he hadn’t been over Harry at the time? Either way, Harry feels like a fool for not figuring it out sooner. He has to ask him about it, just not now. Now that Harry is actually letting himself think about it, of fucking course he isn’t over Louis. He never expected to be, he just thought that Louis didn’t want to deal with it anymore, he thought that was what the older lad had wanted! And he hadn’t wanted to be burden any longer. Forcing him to stay in a confusing relationship that he didn’t really want to be a part of.

Maybe they do need to have this conversation. Well, of course they do. Harry just doesn’t know if he’s ready for that. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever be ready! But what if things turn out the way he wants them too? But then again, what if he gets rejection? He broke things off so that he wouldn’t have to hear Louis do it. And he handled it that time, but he doesn’t think he can handle it again. Not from Louis’ own lips. Not from his Lou. Never from his Lou.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter :)))
> 
> Please let me know in the comments section what you thought of it.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Love you all


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